Recall
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: Kate stared at the murder board, her eyes bloodshot and her vision blurry but she couldn't rest. Not with the smiling picture of her own husband staring back at her. AU, Future fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here we go - something to get us through the hiatus! Not quite sure how many chapters this one will be . . . enjoy chapter 1!**

* * *

Kate opened her eyes and listened.

Nothing.

She couldn't hear Rick rummaging around in the kitchen, or the grunting of Julian over the baby monitor. She also couldn't smell coffee brewing or bacon cooking. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was just after seven but she knew there was no way in hell she should have slept so late unless. . . .

She smiled as the events of last night came back to her. Julian had slept through the night for the first time – but she had still woken up for his middle of the night feeding. When she had checked on him and found him sleeping, she came back to bed to find an equally wide-awake Rick.

"_Cosmo's asleep?"_

_She rolled her eyes. "Our baby's name is not Cosmo – Julian is still asleep, yes."_

_Rick reached out and pulled her back into their bed, into his body. "Well, since we're both up and he's asleep-"_

_Kate moaned. "We've done this before and he always interrupts us-"she bit back a scream as Rick latched onto her pulse point and sucked. "Don't leave a hickey, Castle."_

_Rick pulled back to look at her."Why not? You can wear a turtleneck tomorrow."_

"_It's summer – it's supposed to be ninety degrees-" she laughed as he wiggled his fingers under her flimsy tank top._

"_Kate, I need you. We haven't made love since-"_

_She placed a finger on his lips. "I know."_

"_So-"_

_She trailed her hands down to his boxers. "Lose the shorts – now, Castle."_

Kate grinned and buried her head in her husband's pillow, inhaling his scent and wondering where her boys had gone this morning. Something crinkled under her cheek and she rose up to see a piece of paper pinned to the pillow, Rick's familiar scrawl across the page. She pushed her hair back with one hand as she sat up to read his note.

'_Good morning, gorgeous – I didn't have the heart to wake you this morning. Cosmo woke up at five-thirty so I gave him a bottle and wrote a chapter while he was in his swing. We're going out to grab breakfast so don't panic if you wake up before we get back – you can call me if you want. Love, your boys. P.S. Last night was amazing. I especially loved the part where you…. _

Kate laughed and felt the heat rise in her cheeks as his words brought to mind more images from last night. She knew he had deliberately left that last sentence hanging – and it reminded her of the morning after their very first night together. They had come so far since then, married with a baby – how did she get so lucky?

"Kate?" The front door slammed. "You up?"

She threw back the covers and gasped as the cool air hit her skin. Reaching quickly for the robe that her husband had left on the foot of their bed, she shoved her arms into it and tied it around her waist. "I'm up, Rick. Be right down."

"Morning, gorgeous."

She jumped as she turned and saw her husband lounging in their bedroom doorway, Julian bouncing in his arms. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she mock glared at him as she moved forward and took her son into her arms. "Good morning, JJ – how's my Castle Jr. doing?"

Julian gave her a grin as he batted her face. Kate caught one of his waving hands and kissed it several times, cuddling him close. She looked up in time to see Rick looking at them, his expression soft.

"What is it?"

"Nothing – I just-"

"Rick, tell me."

He exhaled. "You don't like it when I bring up Meredith-"

She shrugged. "You can tell me anything – well, I'd rather you not tell me about your sex life with her-"

He chuckled as he moved into the room and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the top of her head. "I'd never do that, Kate."

"Then, what is it? You were giving us a really funny look a minute ago."

He sighed. "I was just thinking about how different things were this time around – and how glad I am. Meredith was hardly ever around, you know? And when she was, she was more interested in bedding me than cuddling and bonding with Alexis."

Kate winced. "That had to hurt you, Rick."

He nodded. "It did. And then, when we had the case with Cosmo and you said you were uncomfortable with babies-"

"Hey!" Kate protested and Julian whimpered. She bounced him gently. "I told you it would be different when I had our baby!"

He cupped her face. "And you were right – from the minute the nurse placed Co- Julian in your arms, I knew you were a goner."

Kate smiled and kissed Julian's dark fuzz. "Me too. I didn't know I could love someone so tiny so much-"

"I love you, Kate." His lips covered hers hungrily and time seemed to stop as they moved together – until Julian protested.

Kate broke away, laughing. "Sorry, little man. Your parents forgot about you for a minute, there."

Rick took Julian back. "Are you hungry again, Cosmo? What about you, Kate?"

She looked him up and down, licking her lips. "I could eat."

He groaned. "Don't look at me like that, Kate. We don't have time – you have to get ready for work and I have a book signing in a couple hours, remember?"

She frowned. "Who's watching Julian?"

He smiled. "Mother and Alexis are taking him for the day."

"So – maybe after your book signing, you could come by the precinct and we could grab a late lunch."

Rick leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss. "I like the way your mind works, Detective."

* * *

**72 Hours Later**

Kate stared at the murder board, her eyes bloodshot and her vision blurry but she couldn't rest. Not with the smiling picture of her own husband staring back at her. Three days. Three fucking days since he had kissed her good-bye at the loft and promised to see her later at the precinct after his book signing was over.

He never arrived.

Instead she had gotten a panicked call from Gina saying that the driver from Black Pawn was waiting for Rick outside the loft and that he had been waiting for over twenty minutes. Where was he? Kate called Martha who said that the driver had called while she was picking up Julian and Rick had walked out the door while she was still there. Kate's heart dropped to her toes – if that driver wasn't from Black Pawn, who was he?

That had been three days ago and there had been no leads. They had found out that the car that had picked up Castle had been rented from Blue Moon but the car had been bleached and dumped by the time they found it. No prints, and no trace evidence of any kind were found inside. It was found just four blocks from the loft, so it stood to reason that the kidnappers had switched cars after knocking Castle out and disappearing into the city – if they were still in the city.

Kate rubbed her eyes and reached for her tea. She wished it was coffee but since she was still breast-feeding Julian, she stuck to her one cup a day. The rest of the time she drank the herbal crap that did absolutely nothing for her other than the fact that it was hot and she drank it in a mug, so maybe she could fool herself into thinking it was coffee. Yeah, right. Just like if she closed her eyes, she could pretend this was all a nightmare she would wake up from –

"Detective, why don't you go home? Get some sleep."

Kate looked up into the concerned eyes of her Captain and shook her head. "I can't, Sir. It's been three days and you know that with every hour that goes by, Rick's chances- I have to be here."

Gates nodded.

"This just doesn't make any sense. There hasn't been a ransom demand – and we all know Castle can get together quite a bit of money."

"What about the time his daughter was kidnapped? Could there be a connection?"

Kate swallowed her tea, trying to think of an answer to that question. No one outside of his immediate family knew the truth – that Alexis had been the intended target to flush out Castle's father. God help them all if this again tied to his father.

"I don't see how – she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Castle on the other hand, has made plenty of enemies over the years through his association with me and this precinct."

Gates laid a hand on Kate's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, Detective. Castle's a grown man-"

Kate's lips quirked as she fought a smile to hear those words coming out of Gates' mouth; her Captain held up a hand.

"I know, I give him a hard time most of the time but he does have his good points and he has helped us close cases. In fact, and if you tell him this I'll deny it, I miss having him around now that he's Mr. Mom."

Kate's eyes filled. "He doesn't want Julian to be raised by a nanny – but what if he – Sir, if he doesn't-" she choked.

"Don't even think like that, Kate. You'll find him."

"It's been three days and we've had no leads."

My desk phone rang and I leapt up to answer. "Beckett."

"_I have information about Richard Castle."_

I grabbed a notepad and pen. "Who is this?"

"_A concerned citizen. Do you want to know where your husband is?"_

"Yes."

"_Then listen carefully."_

* * *

"I don't like this, Beckett." Ryan protested as he strapped on his vest.

"Man, it's Castle. We've got to go in," Espo shot back as he checked the clip of his gun.

"But what do we have to go on? Some voice on the phone directs us to an abandoned warehouse and we're just going to storm the place? What if it's an ambush and they're waiting to pick us off, one by one?"

"They?" Espo scoffed. "Who are you talking about, bro? You've been watching too many conspiracy movies again."

"Hey, they're the only thing on in the middle of the night when Hunter can't sleep-"

"Are you girls done?" Kate interrupted, her voice crisp. "I'd like to go in there today and see if this is a wild goose chase or not."

"Let's go, detectives," Gates ordered.

Kate and Gates took the front with some uniforms while Espo and Ryan took the back. The warehouse was huge; it had several hallways and multiple rooms that had to be systematically searched. The building was empty – too empty, which gave Kate hope that maybe, just maybe the abductors had been here. Kate was searching rooms at the other end when she heard an expletive echoing down the hall from Espo and Ryan's shout.

"Kate! We found him!"

Kate ran toward the sound of their voices and as she turned the corner, she saw Ryan standing guard in the doorway, his face unnaturally pale. "Wait – before you go in, I think you should prepare yourself."

She slid to a stop in front of him. "Is he dead?"

Espo's voice came from inside the room. "No, but he's been tortured."

"What?" she shrieked as she pushed Ryan to the side and entered the dim room only to stop still in shock at the sight that met her eyes.

Espo was crouched beside Rick, who was curled up on the cement floor in the fetal position. There was so much blood, she couldn't tell exactly what his injuries were – but she could see the shallow rise and fall of his chest and for now it was enough to know that he was alive. She bit her lip, hard, to keep the sobs back as she crossed to Espo's side, falling to her knees.

"Ryan's already called the paramedics – they'll be here soon."

Kate reached out a shaking hand and pushed a lock of hair from his sweaty, blood smeared face. "What did those bastards do to you? I swear, I'll make them pay, Castle."

* * *

"Katharine, darling, don't you think you should go home – get some sleep in a real bed?"

She looked at Martha and gave a tired smile. "I can't leave him. Maybe after he opens those beautiful blue eyes and calls me 'gorgeous' and I know he's okay – then I can go home." She nuzzled her nose in Julian's dark fuzz.

"Of course he's going to be fine – my son's a survivor. He has so much to live for now. There is no way on earth he would ever willing leave you and little JJ."

Alexis came into the room carrying a tray of food. "Who's hungry?"

Kate grimaced. "Maybe later."

Alexis frowned. "Kate, when's the last time you had something to eat?"

"Um, yesterday?"

"But you're not sure, are you?"

Kate shook her head.

Martha picked up half a sandwich and thrust it at her as Alexis took Julian. "Eat – now."

Kate gave her a small smile. "Yes, mom."

Martha beamed. "I love it when you call me that."

"I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Nonsense, Katharine. I know that you and your mother were very close and I would never try to replace her – but I've always wanted to be a second mother to you."

Tears welled in Kate's eyes as she bit into her sandwich. "I know – thanks for waiting until I was ready."

Martha waved her words away."It's a family trait."

Alexis bounced her brother on her knee and tried not to laugh. "Grams is telling funny stories again, JJ. I'll explain it to you when you're older."

Kate ate the rest of her sandwich in silence, keeping her eyes on her husband. It was amazing that he wasn't on a ventilator – that his breathing wasn't compromised after his collapsed lung. She mentally catalogued his injuries: four broken ribs, one collapsed lung, one dislocated shoulder, two broken fingers, and one broken leg. She shuddered as she thought of the long road of recovery that lay ahead for him – not just physical but emotional as well. Ryan and Espo were still looking for his abductors and if she ever got her hands on them, she honestly didn't know that she would be able to hold herself back from inflicting some pain of her own.

Rick groaned and instantly all three women crowded around his bed.

"Rick?"

"Dad?"

"Kiddo?"

His blue eyes fluttered open and then instantly shut again as the light and pain flooded his brain. Kate sat on the edge of his bed, taking his hand in hers. "Rick, it's okay. You're safe – you're in the hospital. I'm here – and so are Alexis, your mother, and Julian."

He swallowed and whispered, "Water."

Martha poured a small amount into the paper cup and handed it to Kate. She held the straw to his lips and helped him take a sip. When he greedily sought more, she took the cup away. "No, that's enough for now – more later, all right?"

He groaned and opened his eyes, looking at her in confusion. "Who are you?"

Kate's smile slipped.

"Dad – now's not the time to be funny," Alexis chided softly as she moved closer to the bed.

He swung his head in her direction and waited for the pounding to decrease. "Hey, pumpkin."

"Oh, dad!" Alexis smiled. "I'm so glad to see you – we were all so worried."

He frowned. "Why?"

Alexis bit her lip and glanced at Kate. "Because-" she fell silent as Kate shook her head at her.

Martha jumped in. "What's the last thing you remember, Kiddo?"

"I – I was at a launch party for 'Storm Fall' and then – and then it all goes dark." He frowned.

Kate felt herself growing cold as she stood up. Needing reassurance, she walked around the bed and took Julian out of Alexis' arms, cuddling him close.

"Darling, that was eight years ago."

Rick looked at his mother in shock. "Eight years ago? But that – I can't-" he looked at Kate in confusion. "Do I know you?"

Kate bit her lip. "I'll just go tell the nurse that you're awake." She pulled open the door and fled the room, Alexis on her heels.

Martha shook her head at her son, worried more than she could say.

Rick rubbed his forehead. "Who was that woman?"

"Your wife, Katharine."

* * *

**A/N - Castle's forgotten the past 8 yrs? What the ** is going on? Want to find out? Reviews are LOVE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you SO much for all your reviews, follows, and favorites - I hope you all continue to enjoy the story. So, how are we all doing the day after a no new episode Castle Monday? Yeah, that's what I thought. Here's another chapter to help chase away those blues!**

* * *

"Kate, wait! Don't go!" Alexis cried as she hurried down the hallway. She waited while Kate talked to the nurse, telling her that Richard Castle was awake, but seemed to be having memory problems. The nurse paged the doctor and disappeared down the hall to his room.

Kate turned to Alexis. "I'm going to take Julian home, feed him, and put him down for a nap – then I think I'll follow mom's advice and take one too."

Alexis reached out and laid a hand on Kate's arm. "Wait – don't you want to talk to Dad's doctor? I'm sure this is just temporary, Kate. There's no way my dad would forget you and JJ!"

Kate swallowed hard, trying to keep a rein on her conflicting emotions. "I'm sure he wouldn't – Rick just needs some time. But right now he doesn't know who I am so the best thing for me to do is go home, sleep and take a shower. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Promise you won't go into work or stay away? He needs you."

"Oh Alexis," Kate sighed. "I'll be back, I promise. I just need a little time too, all right?"

Alexis hugged her tight and Julian protested as he was trapped between them. "It's going to be fine, I know it. Dad's never loved anyone the way he loves you."

Kate gave her a watery smile. "I know."

* * *

"My wife? I got married again?" Rick moaned. "Is it because of the baby – was she pregnant?"

"Richard Castle!" Martha snapped. "Don't make me bend you over my knee. Katharine Beckett is a woman of integrity – she would never trap a man into marriage by nefarious means. Unlike your first wife, Meredith-"

Rick rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry, I just can't believe I got married again."

The nurse came in then to take vitals and ask a few questions. Rick did his best to answer but when he said it was 2009, the nurse frowned and left the room hurriedly.

"Mother, what year is it?"

"Darling, I don't want to upset you more-"

"Mother."

"Today's date is July 1, 2017."

Rick's eyes fluttered shut. "What the hell happened to me?"

Alexis walked back into the room. "You really don't remember?"

"The last thing I remember is talking to the both of you at the bar during my launch party. You, mother, went off to see if you could catch some man, and I stayed to talk to you about how predictable life had become and then-" he frowned.

Alexis leaned forward. "Yes, and then what-"

"It's blank."

Alexis blew out a breath of frustration. "Grams, if he could only remember the next few minutes!"

"I know, sweetheart, but he doesn't. We can't push him-"

"Hello! I'm right here – what's so critical about the next few minutes of my launch party?"

Alexis grinned. "That's when you met Kate."

"Who's Kate?"

Martha rolled her eyes. "Your wife, Kiddo."

"I thought you said her name was Katherine."

"Grams is the only one who calls her that – you and I call her Kate, and her dad calls her Katie. You tried to call her that once and she threatened to shoot you."

"Shoot me! What am I doing with a woman like that?"

"Dad!" Alexis laughed. "She's an NYPD detective. You started shadowing her to get ideas for your next character, Nikki Heat. You killed off Derek Storm, remember?"

He rubbed his temples as the pounding increased and a doctor walked into the room. "Hello, Mr. Castle, my name is Dr. Goodwin. How are you feeling?"

"Like Alice in Wonderland."

"Pardon?"

"My son thinks it's 2009."

"Oh? I see. Well, let's take a look at your injuries and then we'll draw some more blood to see if we can figure out what's going on."

* * *

Kate waited until she had fed Julian and rocked him to sleep before falling apart. As soon as she closed the nursery door, the tears began to fall. She stumbled across the hall to their bedroom, kicking off her low heeled boots as she went. Stripping off her clothes, she threw them in the hamper and turned on the shower, stepping in and letting the hot water pour down her back. A sob escaped her throat and soon she was bawling like a little baby, her hands braced against the walls of the shower for support. All of the emotions she had been holding inside since she had gotten the news of Castle's abduction came pouring out of her and soon she was screaming and pounding on the walls.

"_Do I know you?"_

The lost look in his eyes as he frowned at her in the hospital had been more than she could stand. She knew she was running away when she left but she needed space to deal with everything that had happened. Of course she wasn't going to give up on him – but she needed sleep and time to refill her reserves to be strong enough for the both of them. She looked down at her hands, red and slightly swollen from the pounding she had given them and sighed. _At least they're not bleeding. _She shut the water off and climbed out, bundling up in a thick bathrobe. Not bothering to put on pajamas, she collapsed on the bed, pulling Rick's pillow into her arms to inhale his scent, her eyes closing in exhaustion.

She sat up in bed to the sound of Julian's cries. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she glanced at the time, and was surprised to see that her son had taken a three hour nap. _Guess he knew I needed the sleep. _She had just finished changing his diaper when there was a knock on the front door. Kate blew a raspberry on his tummy and Julian squealed. "Shall we go see who is at the door?"

The knock sounded again and Kate cried, "I'm coming!" as she came down the stairs. She looked through the peephole and smiled as she swung open the door. "Hi, Lanie."

Her best friend enveloped her and Julian in a huge hug. "Are you all right?"

Kate sighed. "I guess you heard about Rick's memory."

Lanie nodded. "Alexis called me – she's worried about you." She took Julian and snuggled him. "How's my little JJ man?" she cooed.

Julian scrunched up his face and turned his head toward Lanie's breasts. Kate laughed. "Hungry – here let me have him-"

Lanie shook her head. "Uh huh, let Aunt Lanie feed him, please?"

"I'll get a bottle."

Once Julian had a bottle and both women were on the couch, Lanie's eyes were back on Kate. "So, how are you?"

Kate shrugged. "Still tired and reeling from the fact that Rick's forgotten about us-"

"You know that's not his fault, right? They must have given him a drug cocktail of some kind-"

"But why, Lanie? None of this makes any sense. We never got a ransom call – and the torture must mean that they were trying to extract information – but what? And did they get it? And if they did, are they coming back for him? Is it really over?"

"Honey, breathe, you're panicking."

Kate stood up to pace. "You're damn right, I'm panicking. We had no leads until some mystery man calls and tells me exactly where to find him. Who was he – was he involved in the abduction?" She paused to take a breath.

"Well, we know one thing."

"What's that?"

"It's not the mysterious Mr. Smith – he's dead."

Kate froze in her tracks. "He's dead-" she repeated. "Oh my God, Lanie. What if this is about my mother's case? What if they took Rick to find out if we've learned anything new – and to send a message to me at the same time?"

Lanie moved Julian to her shoulder to burp him. "That's crazy talk. You made that deal with Bracken – why rock the boat now? You haven't investigated him in years, have you?"

I shook my head. "But what other information could they possibly think Rick would have – why take him and not me?" I swallowed. "Or JJ?"

Julian belched and Lanie smiled at him. "Don't be ridiculous, nothing is going to happen to Castle Jr. – not with the entire 12th precinct as his bodyguards. Kate, you've got to relax. Go see Castle – talk to him, jog his memory – the two of you can figure this thing out, just like you always do."

_Always. _The word echoed in Kate's head, but it wasn't Lanie's voice she heard, it was Rick's as he cupped her face and pulled her in for a long, slow kiss. _I love you, Kate, always._

"Honey, you okay?"

Kate startled. "Yeah, why?"

"Because you looked like you were a million miles away just now."

Kate squared her shoulders. "You're right, Lanie. I need to see my husband – together we can figure this thing out."

* * *

"Mrs. Castle, may I have a word?"

Kate usually shied away from the moniker because of the press and the paparazzi but in their private life, a thrill went through her at being identified as Rick's wife.

"Of course. It's Dr. Goodwin, isn't it? Do you have news about my husband?"

"Mr. Castle's latest lab results are back – and there are some abnormalities."

Her heart stilled in her throat. "These abnormalities didn't show up before?"

Dr. Goodwin shook his head. "There were some strong masking agents in his bloodstream. We found the truth serum easily enough but it took awhile for us to recognize the masking agents and identify the neural inhibitors they were hiding."

Kate's head was spinning. "I'm sorry, I'm not quite following you – what exactly would these inhibitors do to my husband?"

"I don't know. Their usual function is to inhibit or impair brain activity for periods of time: speech, motor function, etc. But we've never seen these particular inhibitors before – they must still be in the experimental stage."

"Wait a minute – you're telling me that someone injected Rick with a drug that you know nothing about?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Castle."

Kate felt like screaming. "How long will it last – is this causing his memory loss?"

"It's highly probable that this is what is affecting his long term memory loss. I expected some short term, due to the trauma but not eight years worth. As to how long it will last – it could be a few days to a week until the inhibitors clear his bloodstream or-" Dr. Goodwin fidgeted.

"Or what?" Kate pushed.

"Or the effects could be permanent – I'm afraid I just don't know."

* * *

Kate waited outside while Dr. Goodwin explained the lab test results to Rick, Martha, and Alexis. She needed a moment to absorb the new information and she knew that in his current state of memory loss, Rick might be uncomfortable with her in the room. But when she heard Alexis begin to cry, she couldn't remain outside any longer.

"Lex," she whispered softly as she stepped into the room.

"Oh, Kate," Alexis sobbed as threw herself into the older woman's arms. "It can't be permanent – it can't. Dad has to remember you and JJ – and your wedding – and –" she hiccupped.

"Hush, Lex. It will be all right – we'll figure this out." Kate's eyes met Rick's over his daughter's shoulder.

He frowned at her, opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again. Martha was holding his hand, fighting a battle with her own tears. "Thank you for not sugar coating things, Doctor."

Dr. Goodwin nodded. "Let me know if you have any more questions. Mr. Castle?"

Rick looked at the doctor in astonishment, breaking his eye contact with Kate. "Yes?"

"Keep trying to jog your memory – have your family talk about the past eight years, show you videos, tell stories, etc. But try not to get frustrated if nothing comes back - I'm afraid I must stress that I simply don't know if your memory will return or not."

Alexis sniffled and buried her face in Kate's neck. Martha squeezed Rick's hand as he nodded. Dr. Goodwin left to make his other rounds and Martha breathed a sigh of relief. "Is it just me, or do doctors never deliver good news?"

Kate smiled. "Only when it's your release papers."

Martha released Rick's hand and came over to hug Kate. "You look like you got some sleep but – oh darling, what happened to your hands?"

Alexis gasped as she and Martha each took one and held them up to the light. Kate squirmed. "I um – they're fine." She pulled her swollen hands out of reach. "I just need to remember to punch bags and not walls."

"Oh, Katherine," Martha breathed as she hugged Kate tight. "Are you all right?"

Kate sighed. "I'll be fine, mom. Why don't you and Lex go get some rest now? I'll stay here for awhile."

Alexis wanted to stay but Martha thought it was a good idea so they both said good night to Rick and hustled out the door. Kate set her bag down by the door and studied her husband from across the room. He was still staring at her with that unreadable expression in his eyes – and with a jolt of surprise she finally placed it. It was very similar to the look he used to give her their first year together when he was trying to read her – trying to figure her out . . . except there was no heat, no lust in the gaze. Even back then, Rick had wanted her.

But the man in this bed was a stranger and he was studying her as if he expected her to disappear at any moment. Did he think she had trapped him into marriage? The Rick of their first year together had been jaded about the idea of marrying for a third time – and she had said she was a one and done type girl. But of course, he wouldn't remember that conversation. He didn't remember her at all.

"So, mother tells me we're married."

She started at the sound of his voice, as it broke into her thoughts. "Yes, next month will be our third anniversary."

He dropped his eyes to fiddle with the wedding band on his left ring finger. "I still can't believe I got married again."

Kate smiled. "Since you have no memory of the past eight years, yeah, I can see how you would have trouble believing that."

"So – if we've been married for nearly three years, I uh, didn't marry you because you were-" he blundered to a stop.

Her eyes fluttered shut against the pain. "No. Julian is only three months old – I conceived last year on our anniversary."

Rick's eyes met hers again. "So I must really love you."

Kate's breath caught in her throat. "Yes."

"And you love me?"

She smiled. "Take your ring off."

His eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Just do it, Castle."

He slipped the gold band down his finger until it lay in the palm of his hand. "Now what?"

"Read the inscription."

He squinted as he held it up to the light. "'Always, K 8-2-14.'"

She nodded as she held up her left hand. "I have the same inscription – except mine says: Always, R. You're my one and done, Rick – yes, I love you."

He breathed in and out through his nose deeply as he slid the band back on his ring finger. "Come here," he beckoned, holding out his other hand.

Kate came forward until she was standing beside his bed, looking down at his outstretched hand.

"Sit with me."

She ignored his hand and perched on the edge of the bed, holding herself at a physical and emotional distance.

He cleared his throat. "So tell me, what does 'always' mean?"

* * *

**A/N: Ouch - poor Kate. Can you imagine trying to put into words what 'Always' means to them? You know what to do if you want more - Reviews are LOVE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know that some of you are wondering how Castle recognizes Alexis since she's bound to look different at 23 then she did at 15. For that matter, so does Kate (remember all her hairstyles?). Anyway, the truth is, I don't know. Perhaps in his amnesiac mind Rick is still seeing them as they appeared 8 yrs ago. **

**And for those of you wondering what happened to the plot - don't despair, it's coming in the next chapter. The muses and I had to decide where exactly this story was going - but we've got it figured out now!**

* * *

Kate narrowed her eyes. "You're a best-selling author and you've forgotten what the word 'always' means?" She laughed lightly. "I think you've forgotten more than the past eight years-"

"Kate."

She stilled on the bed, dropping her eyes to her fingers.

"I can tell by your body language the word has special meaning and significance to us – I'm not blind. And there's also the simple fact that I didn't engrave Meredith's or Gina's wedding band – just yours."

"Meredith engraved your wedding band," Kate smirked.

Rick groaned. "Do not remind me – I'd rather have forgotten what she put inside my wedding ring than the past eight years with you."

Kate's breath caught in her throat. "You mean that?"

He reached for her hand again and this time she let him entwine their fingers together. "We've been married for nearly three years – and mother says we've been in a relationship for five, is that right?"

She nodded. "We could have been together sooner but – well, it's complicated."

He sighed. "I wish I could remember. But five years is the longest I've ever been with any woman – including both of my previous marriages."

She reached up to cup his cheek. "I know, Rick, me too."

He leaned forward only to groan at the movement, and Kate leaned over him in concern. "What is it? What hurts?"

"Ribs," he gasped. "I forget and move the wrong way and-" he moaned.

She pushed the button on his morphine drip twice and waited for his face to relax as the medicine hit his bloodstream. "Better?"

"Yes, but it's going to knock me out and you still haven't answered me – what does 'always' mean?"

Kate brushed a lock of his hair back. "The first time you said it to me was just after you'd knocked a guy out with your bare hands – you had my back and I thanked you. Instead of saying 'you're welcome', you said 'always'. That simple word let me know that you would always be there for me as a partner, as someone I could trust. I hadn't had too many people in my life I could open up to before you came along."

Rick's eyelids were getting heavy but he was fighting the battle with sleep. "Is that all it means – I have your back?"

Kate smiled softly. "No – it means so much more. Over time, it became our code word for 'I love you' before either of us was ready to admit how we really felt. Of course, you never let me live it down that you said the actual words first."

"Hmm," he sighed, his eyes finally slipping closed.

"Always means that we are always friends, always partners, and will always work things out because we love each other," she whispered as she pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"Stay," he murmured.

"Sleep," she insisted.

With a monumental effort, he dragged his eyes open. "You'll be here when I wake up?"

Kate nodded. "Always."

* * *

"He's asleep?"

Kate stirred in her chair at the sound of Lanie's voice. "Hey – how long have you been standing there?"

Lanie grinned. "Not long – I didn't want to wake you but this little guy is hungry and there wasn't any more breast milk in the fridge so-"

Julian was fussing in the ME's arms and Kate stood, holding out her own for her son. "Let's go find a private corner somewhere and I can feed him."

"Do you want me sit with Castle?"

Kate bit her lip and looked back at her husband. "I think he'll sleep for awhile longer-"

"Then let's stay here."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea-"

"Why not? He's your husband and it's not like he's never seen – oh."

"Exactly. He doesn't remember me or Julian and he has no memory of-" Kate swallowed the emotion in her throat. "Come on, little man, let's go somewhere quiet."

"I'll sit with him til you get back."

"Thanks, Lanie. I promised him I'd be here when he woke up."

"Of course you did, honey." Julian's fussing had grown to full on crying. "You better go and see to your son."

Lanie waited until Kate had left the room before she picked up the chart at the end of Castle's bed and read it, frowning over the contents. His injuries were enough to make her angry but the results of his blood work were downright disturbing. Who on earth would inject Castle with neural inhibitors? None of the criminals they had put away over the years had these kinds of resources – not even 3XK. She shook her head. None of this made any sense.

"Dr. Parrish?"

Gasping at the sound of her name, Lanie dropped the chart and looked up to see Castle staring at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Hope flared in her chest. "You know me?"

Rick frowned. "Why wouldn't I? It is Dr. Parrish, isn't it? I mean, we only met a couple of days ago at the 12th but-"

Lanie sighed as she bent down and picked up the scattered papers, tucking them back inside the file folder. "Yes, Castle, I'm Dr. Parrish – but you can call me Lanie."

He frowned. "Okay. What am I doing in the hospital? Did something happen after we caught-" the frown deepened and Rick fell silent.

Lanie approached his side of the bed slowly. "It's okay, Castle. Take your time – what do you remember?"

"I was at my launch party and uh – Detective Beckett came and said she had some questions for me about some murders. The guy has been staging them to look like the murders in some of my lesser known works – but we caught the guy – didn't we – at least, I thought we did-" Rick rubbed his forehead.

"Yes, Castle, you did, eight years ago."

His hand dropped to the blanket as his mouth fell open. "What?"

Lanie nodded. "That was in 2009- it's 2017."

"That's – no – who are you?" Rick roared. "Get out of my room!"

"Rick – calm down. I know this is a shock-"

Kate raced into the room, bouncing Julian on her hip. "What's going on in here? Rick-"

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate startled at the title but then smiled. "You remember me?"

"Of course I do - we just closed the case, remember?"

Not wanting to get her hopes up, Kate sought clarification. "Which case?"

"Your first one," Lanie interrupted. "The copycat killings."

Kate sighed. "Oh."

"Will someone please tell me what's going on? Who are you?" Rick swung his gaze back to Lanie.

Kate transferred Julian to her best friend and approached her husband slowly. "Ri-Castle, that case happened eight years ago, when we first met-"

"No, you're crazy-"

She caught his left hand in her right. "Look, we're married and see that baby Lanie's holding? That's our son – do you remember our conversation before you fell asleep? About 'always'?"

Rick was still shaking but she knew her words were getting through when he clutched her other hand and their rings clinked together. He shook his head slowly, closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. When he opened his eyes, his vision was clearer and the wild, panicked look was gone.

"Kate?" he whispered. "What's happening to me?"

She felt her heart break a little at the sight of the lost little boy in front of her. "I don't know, sweetheart. But we'll figure it out together – we always do."

He groaned. "I still don't remember us."

She leaned in and ghosted a kiss across his lips. "But you remember our first case – you remember Detective Beckett – that's a big step. I have faith that the rest will follow."

"Can I hold our son?"

Kate laughed. "You never have to ask." She turned and Lanie passed Julian to her. As soon as her son was close enough to see Rick, he was reaching for his daddy.

"Hey, buddy," Rick sighed as he caught and held Julian close.

Kate backed away and watched their reunion. It had been days since Rick had held him and in a way, he was holding him for the first time as well. Tears clouded her vision as she felt Lanie's arms wrap around her shoulders.

"You'll figure this out, honey."

Kate nodded before turning away from her family to focus on her best friend. "What happened, Lanie? Why was he shouting at you?"

Lanie sighed. "He called me Dr. Parrish when he woke up – so I knew he remembered me to some extent. I asked him what else he remembered and he talked about your first case." She shrugged. "Then I messed up and said it happened eight years ago instead of yesterday and he freaked. He must have thought I was an imposter or something. Honey, what the hell did those bastards give him?"

Kate sighed. "I don't know. But I am relieved that he remembers me a little – it gives me some hope, you know?"

Lanie squeezed her shoulder. "He's going to get his memory back."

"Is it wrong of me to hope he never remembers the kidnapping and torture?"

Lanie frowned. "But how else will you catch them?"

"I know, I know – but I keep remembering all that I went through with my shooting. Rick's trauma will be so much worse."

"All you can do is be there for him."

Kate looked back to see her husband and son had fallen asleep, Rick cradling Julian against his chest. "I'm not going anywhere, Lanie."

* * *

"Welcome home, darling!"

"Mother, I can't breathe."

"Oh, sorry!"

Martha let go of Rick's neck and stepped back long enough for him to wheel himself inside the loft. Kate followed behind, carrying Julian and Rick's bag from the pharmacy.

"Where's Alexis?"

"I'm here, Dad." Alexis came from the kitchen, a young man in her wake. "Jonathan and I were just putting the finishing touches on the lasagna. Dinner should be ready in a half hour."

"It smells wonderful, sweetie." He raised his face for a kiss and she planted one on his cheek. "And who's this?"

Alexis went still as her eyes darted to Kate. She nudged Rick's shoulder with her hip as she passed by his chair. "You remember me telling you about Alexis' boyfriend –"

There was an uncomfortable pause before Rick grinned sheepishly. "Right, sorry – I'm a little fuzzy." He pointed to his head.

Jonathan smiled. "No problem, Mr. Castle. We've actually only met a few times." When Alexis opened her mouth to say something, Jonathan pulled her to his side and shook his head slightly.

"Well, that's a relief. So, are you serious about my daughter?"

"Dad!"

"Richard!"

Kate laughed. "Rick, why don't you come help me change Julian? Mom, let us know when dinner's ready, all right?"

He grunted as he wheeled himself after her towards his office and the bedroom beyond. "I can't believe you're not helping me," he puffed. "I have four broken ribs, you know."

She laughed as she set Julian down on the changing table in the corner of his office. "Dr. Goodwin said it was time for you to start strengthening them – I think pushing yourself in that chair is good exercise. You managed last time just fine."

Rick's eyebrows rose. "I've been in a wheelchair before?"

Kate nodded. "You broke your other leg skiing a few years ago. We were only dating at the time and you were showing off-"

"I was not showing off!"

She whirled around to face him. "How do you know? Do you remember?"

"No," he pouted. "But I don't show off – I'm an excellent skier."

She laughed as she lifted Julian from the table, blowing a raspberry on his tummy. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You want to give him his bottle?"

He nodded and held out his hands to receive his son. "Why didn't we name him Cosmo?"

She sighed. "I refused to name my son after a magazine that tells its readers '10 ways to seduce a man'."

He raised his eyebrows. "So you know I wanted to name my son that."

She bit her tongue to keep from reminding him that her memory was infinitely better than his at the moment as she passed him the bottle, watching as her son greedily began to eat. "Yes. We had a case where a dying man left a baby with a priest. You and I ended up babysitting until his parents could be located – and since we didn't know his name, you called him 'Cosmo'."

Rick smiled. "It's a great name."

Kate snorted. "Not for our son. It was one of our biggest fights – what to name him."

"How did we settle on Julian Jackson Castle?"

She reached out and caressed her son's dark fuzz. "Julian is the first name we came to in the baby book that we didn't immediately veto."

He chuckled. "And Jackson?"

She dropped her eyes. "It goes with Julian – you know, we thought we could call him JJ for short."

"Kate, there's something you're not telling me."

She sighed. "How is it you can still read me when you don't remember us?"

He placed a finger under her chin and raised her face until their eyes met. "Because on some level, I do; I'm drawn to you, Kate – for reasons I can't put into words yet. And it has to be because of our story – the story that I'm relying on you to tell me. Please, Kate – tell me."

She drew a deep breath. "Jackson is after your father."

Rick blinked. "But – I don't know who my father is."

"Yes, you do. You met him once – in Paris."

Julian fussed in his arms and without breaking eye contact with Kate, Rick lifted him to his shoulder, patting his little back. "Paris? What was my father doing in Paris?"

She took a deep breath and prayed her husband was emotionally ready to hear this part of their story. "Rescuing Alexis."

Julian belched and Rick lowered him to his lap, bouncing him gently. "Kate, will you stop giving it to me bit by bit and tell me the whole story?"

Kate bit her lip. "Rick, your father is a deep covert op inside the CIA – and a few years ago Alexis was kidnapped to flush him out. You went to Paris to get her back and with your father's help, the two of you did."

Rick's grip went slack on Julian in shock and Kate caught her son before he slipped too far. She got up and placed him in the pack-in-play, making sure a couple of toys were within reach before she returned to her husband's side. He grabbed her hand and held it tight. "How – how do you know all this? Were you there?"

She shook her head. "No, you went to Paris alone and both you and Alexis were sworn to secrecy. But we were in a committed relationship by then, so you told me about your father when you got back. He was supposed to have died in the explosion – but neither of us believed that. He sent you a copy of 'Casino Royale' as proof he made it out. You told me he recommended it to you as a boy-"

Rick started. "That was him? That afternoon in the bookstore – that man was my father?"

She nodded. "Yes – Jackson Hunt."

He grunted. "Sounds like an alias."

Kate smiled. "That's what you said when he introduced himself – and he said it was. But that's the only name he ever gave you."

"And I named my son after him – our son."

"Yes."

A shudder went through Rick as his grip tightened on her hand. "Kate, what if all this has something to do with my father?"

* * *

**A/N: is Castle's conspiracy theory right this time? Does all this have to do with his dad? Reviews are LOVE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this is a couple of days late! The plot begins to thicken with this chapter. . . .**

* * *

Kate bit her lip. "Rick, he's presumed dead-"

"But you and I don't believe that, do we? I mean, you just said that he sent me that book as proof he was still alive."

She shook her head. "It could have been sent before your rescue attempt – you don't know for sure he's alive."

"And you don't know he isn't."

She sighed. "No, but-"

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm the optimist and you're the pessimist in our relationship?" he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Hey!" she protested, hitting his good shoulder with her free hand. "I am not a pessimist – just a realist-"

"There's a difference?"

"Yes-" He gave her a look of disbelief and she smiled. "Look, in all my years as a detective I've seen the truly horrible things that people can do to each other – and as a mystery writer, you've written about them." She shrugged. "I don't know how you've managed to keep your rose-colored glasses intact all these years. I'm afraid mine broke a long time ago."

He reached up and cupped her face. "When?"

She swallowed and silently willed herself not to cry. Her Rick wouldn't even need to ask the question. He would simply gather her in his arms and hold her because he knew all her past pain. But the man in front of her was a stranger in so many ways. Yes, he said he felt a connection to her and JJ but the truth was there was still so much of their history he just didn't remember. And she didn't have the emotional strength to sit there and rehash it all over again.

"Kate, what is it?"

His words caused the tears to slip from her eyes. She knew that she was being unfair – that not even her Rick had been able to read her mind.

"I can't help if you don't talk to me, gorgeous."

She gasped. "What did you say?"

His thumbs swiped at her tears as he frowned. "What? Did I – oh, sorry. It just slipped out – you probably don't like terms of endearment but I couldn't help it. You are so beautiful, Kate, and I-"

She closed the small distance between them and placed her lips against his, ignoring the small voice in her head that told her not to. Except for the brief comforting kiss she had given him a couple of days ago in the hospital, she had been very careful to keep her lips and hands to herself. She had been waiting for him to make the first move, to remember something – anything of their life together. Calling her 'gorgeous', a name that at one time she had given him such grief for, had never sounded sweeter. She moaned as he began to respond to her, his mouth opening under her lips and his hands moved up to run through her hair. Kate was tingling all over and the small part of her brain that was still functioning wondered how Rick was feeling since in a way this was their first kiss.

He suddenly pulled back to look at her, breathing hard. "I – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

She felt the rest of the air leave her lungs. "What?"

"I mean, hell, Beckett – this will – please tell me I haven't ruined our partnership."

Kate felt like Alice in Wonderland, having been dropped down the rabbit hole into an upside down world. What on earth was Rick talking about? He wasn't making any sense. It was like he thought it actually was 2010, just after their first kiss.

He pushed himself away from her. "I can see from the look on your face that I have-"

"Castle-"

"No, really, you don't have to say anything. I won't shadow you anymore – I mean, I have more than enough material for Nikki Heat and-"

"Castle!"

He stopped, but his eyes were wild and unfocused, darting around the room in confusion. "Beckett? What are we doing in my bedroom?"

She sighed. _It's happened again. What happened with Lanie in the hospital – God give me strength. _"Look at me."

"I think you should leave."

"No."

His eyes darted to hers, then away. "Uh, I kissed you and-"

Her hands framed his face. "No, I kissed you, Castle."

He startled. "You did? Why?"

"Because I wanted to-"

"Really?" he smiled at her, his eyes beginning to clear.

"Rick?" she said softly.

He blinked slowly as if awaking from a dream. "Kate?"

She nodded as her tears spilled over again. "Yeah, it's me."

* * *

"How is he?" Martha whispered as Kate came out, closing the study doors behind her.

"Asleep, finally."

"Who knows what year he thinks it will be when he wakes up," Martha sighed. "Poor darling."

Kate's shoulders slumped. "I wish I could do more – I feel so helpless."

Martha wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulders and began walking her towards the dining table. "I was talking about you – you look exhausted. Do you want me to take JJ for a few days?"

"Oh no, please," Kate bit her lip. "I'm sorry, mom. Thank you for offering but he's such a comfort to me right now and Rick is enjoying spending time with him – even if he doesn't-" she swallowed hard.

"Now you listen to me, Katherine Beckett Castle," Martha ordered as she grasped the younger woman's shoulders. "His memory is starting to come back and I have no doubt that the rest will return once those nasty drugs are out of his system. You're not alone – you just lean on me and Alexis. We're here for you too."

Kate stepped into Martha's embrace, allowing her head to rest on the older woman's shoulder. "I know, thanks, mom."

"No problem, Kiddo."

Kate smiled. "Did you leave me any lasagna?"

"Are you hungry?"

Her stomach rebelled at the idea of food. "No, but I know I need to eat – so lead on."

Alexis pulled a warm plate from the oven and handed it to her, giving her a side hug at the same time. "Jonathan had to leave – he has a summer tutoring job three nights a week."

Kate nodded and looked down at her plate. "Lex, I can't possibly eat all this!"

The girl shrugged. "Save some for later – I'm sure dad will want some when he wakes up."

"Are you both just going to sit and stare at me while I eat?"

Martha laughed. "No, Katherine. We'll have some gelato and coffee and keep you company, is that all right?"

Kate nodded as she sat down at the dining table and waited for the redheads to join her. It was funny how quickly she had become accustomed to not eating alone. She had done it her entire adult life until meeting Rick and then suddenly he was always around – bringing her coffee or takeout in the break room. As soon as they moved in together, she never ate alone except for her brief stint with the FBI. Something as simple as eating without Rick made a lump rise in her throat and she pushed her plate away, the little appetite she had vanishing.

"Kate, please take a few more bites."

She looked up to see Alexis staring at her in concern, her eyes so much like her father's. Kate sighed and picked up the piece of garlic toast, taking a huge bite, making the girl grin.

"What were you thinking about, Katherine?"

Kate sighed. "Family – how quickly I got used to not eating alone," she shrugged. "Sounds silly, I know. But I've spent my entire adult life on my own until Rick came along and I haven't had a moment's peace since."

The redheads giggled.

"He was always underfoot or hanging over my shoulder or eating popcorn at my desk or staring at me for no apparent reason except to annoy me," Kate shook her head. "I don't know when he stopped getting under my skin and became the man I can't live without."

"Come on, Kate, dad doesn't get under your skin anymore?" Alexis teased.

Kate smiled. "Are you old enough to ask that question?"

Alexis wrinkled her nose. "Ew – that is so not what I meant."

Martha laughed. "You walked right into that one, Kiddo."

Kate brushed the crumbs from her hands, smiling fondly at her stepdaughter. "So what's on the docket for the rest of the day?"

"Well, since you mentioned family-"

"Gina is not family."

"She was married to dad, Grams."

"Emphasis on was, young lady."

Kate interrupted them. "Gina's stopping by? Why?"

"She's bringing dad's fan mail."

Kate frowned. "She doesn't usually do that – some peon from Black Pawn does."

Martha rolled her eyes. "Yes, but she wants to check up on Richard. Not out of the goodness of her heart, mind you – she wants to see when he can start writing again."

Kate sighed. "Does she have any idea what he's been through? Writing is the last thing on Rick's mind right now. He barely remembers me – how can he possibly write Nikki and Rook?"

Martha waved her words away. "I know, I know – but all Gina cares about is making money for Black Pawn. I think that's the only reason she married Richard in the first place – to clean up his image and sign him."

"Grams, that's a terrible thing to say!"

Martha blinked innocently and Kate remained silent.

"Kate – tell Grams that's not true –" Alexis protested.

"I – I wasn't there, Lex, so I can't really say."

Martha relented. "All right, sweetheart, I take it back. Now, can we please drop the subject of Gina? She'll be darkening our doorstep soon enough. Until then, how about some gelato for you, Kate?"

* * *

"Would you like a hand with that, ma'am?"

Gina smiled brightly at Rodney, the doorman of Castle's building. "No thank you, I can manage." She breezed past him, ignoring the fact that her arms were aching and beginning to tremble.

She couldn't believe she had insisted on delivering all this crap herself. Richard's fan mail from the past two weeks nearly overflowed the large mail carrier in her hands. As she pushed the elevator button, she wondered if it wasn't past time to set up something with the US post office – have them deliver his mail. Surely they would do it for a fee . . . but would it be cheaper than having a Black Pawn employee do the job twice a month? Gina was so lost in thought that she didn't see the young man slip into the elevator behind her.

She dropped her purse just as the elevator arrived on Castle's floor and she swore. There was no way she could bend down to pick it up without setting down the mail carrier and if she set it down, she knew she wouldn't be able to pick it up again – her arms would revolt. Gritting her teeth in frustration, she kicked her purse out the doors and stepped into the hall, gasping as a knife was pressed to her throat.

"Give me the package and you'll live to see another day."

* * *

"Katherine, are you going somewhere?"

Kate finished strapping her gun to her waist before meeting Martha's eyes. "I'm going into work for a bit-"

"But-"

She held up a hand. "I need to see if there are any new leads."

"Surely they would have called you if there were."

Kate sighed. "I'll be back soon – I just need-"

A scream came from the hallway outside the loft and both women jumped in surprise. Alexis appeared at the top of the stairs. "What was that?"

Kate reached for her gun. "I don't know – stay inside and call the 12th for me. Check on your father and JJ. I'm going to go check it out."

Alexis raced down the stairs. "Kate, wait-"

Martha held her back as Kate opened the door and slipped into the hallway.

* * *

A hand came down over Gina's mouth and the tip of the knife pricked the skin of her neck. "Scream again and I'll cut you, understand?"

Gina nodded.

"Good. Now, give me the package."

Gina's mind was racing. _What package? Is this lunatic seriously talking about something in Richard's fan mail?_

"Now, bitch."

She whimpered as the tip of the blade pierced her skin.

"NYPD – drop the knife!" Kate ordered as she turned the corner, her gun drawn and ready.

Gina's eyes locked on Kate's, waiting and watching for a signal as her attacker pulled her back a couple of steps. She couldn't believe that she was still clutching the mail carrier – her arms were almost numb from its weight.

"Let her go. I've already called for backup – this building is going to be surrounded any minute, so you might as well give up now."

"Give me the package and I'm gone."

Kate's eyes narrowed. "What package?"

He pressed the knife deeper into Gina's throat and she whimpered.

"Don't play dumb with me – we know he sent it to Castle."

Chills were running up and down Kate's spine. "Let her go. She has nothing to do with this."

"The package – now."

Kate wet her lips. "I don't have it."

The sound of sirens came from outside and he flinched away, his grip loosening on Gina ever so slightly. Kate nodded and Gina swung the mail carrier up into his abs. Her attacker doubled over and Gina dove to the side, collapsing against the wall as Kate tackled him to the floor, handcuffing him.

"I told you I called for backup."

He grunted.

She sat him up against the opposite wall. "Now talk – who are you? What is in this package? Who sent it to Castle?"

He grinned and looked over her shoulder.

The elevator dinged. "Beckett!" Ryan yelled.

"Over here, guys."

Kate stood to meet Ryan and Espo as they rounded the corner, guns drawn. They took in the scene, eyes round, before approaching her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine – Gina's shook up. One of you will need to take her statement and take this guy in for questioning. Good news is – he might give us a lead on Castle's abduction if we can get him to talk."

"Oh, he'll talk," Espo promised darkly as he crouched beside their suspect. "Won't you? Hey?" He jostled the man's shoulder but reared back in surprise. "Uh, Beckett – were you just talking to this man?"

"Yeah – why?"

"Because he's dead."

Kate's mouth fell open as she crouched on the other side, feeling for a pulse. "That's not possible. I was just – he is dead." She leaned closer and sniffed. "Do you smell that?"

He leaned in and frowned. "Almonds?"

She nodded. "Cyanide."

"Suicide pill?"

She nodded again as a shudder went through her. "What the hell is going on here, Javi?"

* * *

**A/N: oh snap, what is going on? Reviews are LOVE.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: If you couldn't muster up much sympathy for Gina in the last chapter - I'm sure you will all be pulling out the knives this chapter!**

* * *

"Call Lanie – tell her we need her to get over and take him back to the morgue. I'm going to take Gina inside and get her wound dressed."

Kate stood but Espo moved faster and blocked her path, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Kate, we'll figure this out. We have a lead now-"

She shook her head. "He's dead – what more can he tell us?"

Espo grinned. "That's Lanie's job – let me call her, ok?"

Kate nodded as she stepped across the hall to where Ryan was talking in a low whisper to Gina. The woman wasn't responding and Kevin looked up at Kate in exasperation.

"I've got it, Ryan. Go help your partner secure the crime scene."

He shot her a relieved look as Kate crouched beside Gina. "Hey, how are you?"

No response.

"What do you say we get out of this hallway? Let's go inside and get that cut looked at-" Kate reached out gently but Gina flinched away from the contact.

Gina got to her feet slowly as her eyes landed on her attacker. "He's dead?"

"Yes – he can't hurt you anymore, Gina."

The other woman shuddered. "I – I didn't kill him, Kate."

"I know that, Gina."

"Are you going to arrest me?"

Kate shook her head. "No. All I'm going to do is bandage your cut and then one of my partners will ask you some questions about what happened, all right?"

Gina shuddered. "I – I suppose."

* * *

"Kate!"

The moment she swung the door to the loft open, Kate was tackled by Alexis. "I'm OK, Lex."

"I was so scared, Kate," the girl breathed into her neck. "Nearly losing dad and then you go running out the door into who knows what kind of danger-" Alexis choked back a sob. "I can't lose you either."

Kate swallowed the emotion clogging her throat. Alexis had never been so clingy with her and she had never, ever vocalized how much she valued their relationship – which just showed how much the events of the past few days had shaken her. Kate gave her a tight squeeze before letting her go. "I'm fine but Gina-" she pulled away and motioned to the woman who was still standing in the doorway, one hand covering her throat.

Martha had been standing behind them, watching their reunion with motherly pride, but now her attention was drawn to Gina and even though she wasn't fond of the woman, she could see that something traumatic had happened. "You poor dear! Come in – Kate, do we need the first aid kit?"

Kate nodded and Alexis flew to the kitchen to retrieve it. Martha steered Gina to the couch, amazed at the other woman's silence. Kate let Martha and Alexis take over caring for Gina as she stepped back into the hall in time to see Lanie get off the elevator.

"Oh honey! Thank God you're OK!" Lanie exclaimed as she enveloped her in a perfumed hug.

"I'm fine, Lanie – it's Gina that's hurt and I have no idea who our victim is."

She grunted as she pulled away, leveling a death glare at Espo. "Babe, you could have told me that when you called."

Javi grinned. "There wasn't time, Chica – and I didn't want to interrupt your dinner." He ran his eyes up and down, drinking in her formal attire.

She stepped over and slapped the back of his head. "You couldn't have taken the extra minute to say our girl was fine? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you getting revenge for-"

Kate interrupted their bickering. "Excuse me, as much as I love hearing about your private life – could we get back to the fact that there's a dead man outside my front door, please?"

Lanie reached into her small clutch and drew out a pair of latex gloves that matched her dress.

Ryan's mouth fell open. "Wow – did you plan that?"

Lanie smiled. "Some women buy shoes to match their dress – I buy dresses to match my gloves." She finished pulling on her gloves and stepped over to the body. "So, what do we have?"

* * *

"There, Gina. I think that should do it," Alexis announced as she placed the last teri strip in place. "I don't think you'll even have a scar."

Gina flinched but still didn't speak.

"You know, sometimes it helps to talk about it – so it doesn't just keep going round and round your head like one of those annoying songs on repeat," Alexis laughed nervously.

Gina dropped her eyes to her lap but still didn't say anything.

"Grams?" Alexis gave her an appeal for assistance.

Martha placed one of her hands over Gina's, ignoring the flinch. "You're safe now, my dear. That little nick will heal-"

Gina shook her head. "I'll never be safe-" she whispered.

Alexis and Martha exchanged a look. "Of course you are – Katherine will make sure of it. That man will be arrested and-"

"He's dead."

Martha startled but recovered quickly. "Oh, well then. All the better – he won't be hurting you or anyone else."

Gina withdrew her hands to wrap her arms around herself. "You don't understand. He attacked me and I did nothing. He held a knife to my throat and I just stood there – waiting for him to kill me. I – I thought I was going to die-"

The study doors opened and Rick wheeled into the living room. "Gina? Honey, what's going on?"

Martha and Alexis visibly reacted to Rick calling Gina 'honey'. But he cut them off before either of them could say anything. "Mother, what are you and Alexis doing here in the Hamptons? I thought it was just going to me and Gina?"

"Richard, no-"

He had wheeled his chair to Gina's side by this time and his hands were cupping her face. "Honey, what happened to your throat?"

A sob escaped from Gina. "Oh, Rick," she whispered. "I was so scared. He had a knife-"

"Who had a knife?" he demanded.

Gina broke down into sobs and he tugged her forward, off the couch and into his lap. Martha made a shooing motion to Alexis and the girl ran from the room silently.

* * *

"So, he doesn't have any ID on him?"

Ryan finished emptying the mystery man's pockets. "No. Beckett, you're sure he never identified himself?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Ryan, right after I identified myself as NYPD, he said 'John Smith, nice to meet you.'"

Espo chuckled.

"Do you think he told Gina his name?"

"I have no idea, but I doubt it – he seemed to have a one track mind. All he wanted was the package."

All eyes fell on the mail carrier that lay on its side – the contents spilt across the hallway floor. "And you think it's in there somewhere?"

She shrugged. "If it's not, I have no idea where else it could be. Rick gets his fan mail delivered twice a month, on the first and the fifteenth. Black Pawn held it this month since he was still in the hospital and that's why Gina was bringing it by this afternoon. But he also gets packages from friends of friends – you know, people who want him to read their stuff. So if 'the package' was disguised to look like one of those, it could have come anytime within the last month."

"Does Castle keep those scripts?"

Kate shook her head. "He doesn't even read all of them. Some he reads, some he tosses, and some he passes on to Black Pawn or other publishers. A few of them he reads to me – or parts anyway – because they are so bad or funny or whatever. It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack and I don't even know if that's what I'm supposed to be looking for." She ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

"Kate!" Alexis ran up to her, panting. "You've got to come back inside right now."

"What's wrong? Does JJ need me?"

Alexis shook her head. "No, it's dad – he – Gina – oh, just come!"

Kate followed her stepdaughter wondering exactly what she should be expecting to find when she entered the loft but nothing could have prepared her for the sight that met her eyes. Gina was straddling Rick's lap, sobbing on his chest, as her husband stroked her back and made soft, soothing sounds of comfort. Martha was watching the scene unfold from the other end of the couch but was making no move to intercept. Kate took a deep breath and silently counted to ten, reminding herself that her husband had amnesia and the woman on his lap had just been through a near death experience.

But when Rick lifted Gina's face and began to lower his lips to hers, Kate snapped.

"Richard Castle, I'll thank you to remember that the woman in your lap is your EX-wife. Gina, get off my husband."

Martha moved to take Kate's hand in hers. "I never would have let them kiss, my dear. Please believe me," she whispered.

Kate squeezed Martha's hand. "I do, mom. I know you have my back."

Gina jumped guiltily. "Kate – I- I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking – I-"

Kate held up her hand. "Please, just – Alexis, why don't you take Gina upstairs to the guest room?"

"Beckett, what are you doing here?" Rick frowned.

Kate sighed.

Gina stood up. "Why are you being so nice to me after-"

Kate's eyes fluttered shut. "Because you've been through hell today – now go before I change my mind."

Alexis took Gina's elbow and together they climbed the stairs. Kate turned to see that Martha had been talking in low tones to Rick. Their eyes met and held as Martha passed her on the way to the study. "I'll just go check on my grandson."

Kate collapsed on the sofa, running her hands over her face.

"Are you all right?"

She dropped her hands and leveled a glare at him. "Isn't that my line?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. "I don't know where I am half the time, so let's stick to you. Mother said there was an incident earlier – are you all right?"

She laughed dryly. "An incident – well, that's one way to describe it. There's a dead man outside our front door – no ID. He attacked Gina to get a package that some mystery man sent you."

Rick frowned. "I don't remember any package."

"You don't remember the last eight years."

"Kate-"

"Don't, ok?"

"Don't what?"

"Don't 'Castle' me – put a positive spin on things, tell me that things will work out, that everything is going to be OK. Not now – not when less than five minutes ago I walked in to see your ex-wife in your lap and you less than a second away from kissing her."

"But I didn't."

"This time – because I was here to stop you. What happens next time, Rick? When I'm not – when your mother isn't here or Alexis? You wake up and you're back in 2010 or some other year when we don't exist and-"

Rick lurched forward in his chair, ignoring the pain this caused his ribs and pressed his lips to hers. But the image of him and Gina was too fresh and Kate wrenched her mouth away. "No."

"I love you, Kate."

She shook her head. "You don't –" her breath hitched.

"I do."

"You don't remember us."

"Then help me – tell me our story."

"There's too much – I can't-" she pulled away. "I wouldn't know where to start and I don't have time right now. I've got to figure out who this guy was and what the package is he was after and who sent it to you and what it has to do with your abduction-"

"Kate." He spoke her name softly as his hands cupped her face. "Stop. Breathe."

Every cell in her body was screaming at her to get up and move; that she was wasting precious time sitting here. But his eyes were holding her captive. They were the clearest they'd been since he'd woken up in the hospital and for a moment she let herself believe that it was her Rick staring back at her.

"I'm fine, Rick. I'm in control, really. I just want to get these sons of bitches so our lives can go back to normal."

He waggled his eyebrows. "We had a normal life?"

She ghosted her lips across his, pulling away before he could deepen it. "Normal for us, Castle."

* * *

Going for a run in the park did not qualify as running away.

At least that's what Kate kept telling herself as her feet ate up the asphalt. After the boys had questioned Gina and the woman was safely out of her house, she had laced up her running shoes and left. Martha had shaken her head in confusion, but she had never understood what some people found so stress relieving about running. Alexis was the intuitive one – giving her a silent look of understanding and promising to look after her baby brother until she returned. Neither woman said a word about 'running away' but deep down Kate knew that's what she was doing. Just for an hour, Kate needed to escape. She needed to forget that her husband had been kidnapped and tortured. She needed to forget that Rick had forgotten her and JJ – and that he seemed to be losing what little sanity he had left. For an hour, she just needed to be Kate Beckett Castle – for even though she was without him, she knew some persistent members of the press would follow her to take pictures. Castle's abduction was big news and anytime any of them went outside, press and paparazzi were in their faces. Since being found, things had calmed down somewhat, but there were still the persistent few hanging around, waiting for a scoop. Kate ignored them as she did another loop of the park and finally came to a stop by their swings. Of course, it was just a swing set – there wasn't a plague saying 'Castle proposed to Beckett here' – but for Kate, this would forever be their swings. This is where she and Rick reconnected after her shooting and where she came to the realization that she wanted him, just him. Tears sprang to her eyes. What if he never remembered it? What if she had to tell him these stories too – could she put into words well enough for the both of them to relive together? Kate didn't feel up to the task. Rick was the writer, not her. She was his muse – though she still hated that word. He said that she had inspired him to write since the day they met. What if that inspiration was also gone? What would happen to Nikki Heat – to them?

* * *

Kate dragged herself off the elevator three hours later. She felt guilty for being away for so long yet at the same time, she was oddly refreshed. She had needed to take the time for herself.

As she approached the loft, her cell rang and she picked up, noticing it was the precinct. "Beckett."

"Hey, what gives? I thought this was our investigation."

"It is – Ryan, what are you talking about?"

"Some agents from the CIA came and took all our evidence, including the body."

"What?!" Kate stopped walking, her mind racing furiously. "Are you sure they were legit?"

"The badges looked official and the paperwork was in order. Gates didn't have a choice but man, is she pissed! I think they're heading your way – have they been there yet?"

Kate turned the corner to see Alexis dancing in the doorway. "Kate," she hissed. "Some-"

Kate motioned for her to be quiet. "I've got to go, Ryan – they're here." She hung up and joined Alexis in the doorway. "CIA?"

The girl nodded. "They've been here for ten minutes, waiting for you. Dad's playing with JJ – don't worry, Grams is supervising. They're waiting in the living room and other than saying they're with the CIA – they haven't said a word. It's creepy."

Kate gave her arm a reassuring pat as she crossed into the living room. She looked at the pair of agents, a man and woman, as they rose as one from the sofa to greet her.

"Kate Beckett Castle, NYPD – and you are?" she questioned.

The agents exchanged a silent look before the woman stepped forward, flipping open her ID. "I'm Jane Doe and this is my partner John Blackstone."

The side of Kate's mouth quirked as she fought a smile. "Jane Doe and John Black, really?"

John stepped forward, flipping open his own ID. "We're with the CIA, ma'am."

Kate felt Alexis hovering behind her shoulder as she quipped. "Yes, I can read. What can I do for you?"

"We understand you received a package six days ago, is that right?" Jane inquired.

"I don't know," Kate shrugged.

Again, the agents communicated silently. "You don't know," John repeated silently.

"That's right."

"Why not?"

"Because my husband was abducted six days ago – so naturally my mind was on other things."

"Mrs. Castle, I don't think you understand the seriousness of this situation."

"Actually, I don't understand what the hell is going on," Kate exclaimed.

"It's need to know."

She curled her lip. "I'm so sick of that phrase. Do you know that I worked for the FBI for a brief period of time?"

"We are aware of that, yes. You were terminated."

Kate flushed. "That's not important. I actually had to use that phrase 'need to know' during my brief employment – and I felt sick afterwards. How can you live with yourselves? My husband was abducted and tortured for information and now the CIA is in my living room – I think I definitely have a need to know!"

* * *

**A/N: Will the CIA tell Kate what's going on? Reviews are LOVE.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter has major plot developments - I'll just be over here in a corner, biting my fingernails and waiting to hear what y'all think. . . .**

* * *

"Kate, should I get Grams?" Alexis whispered.

The study door opened and Martha's eyes took in the visitors as she came into the room. "I'm Martha Rodgers – and you are?"

Jane ignored the older woman's hand. "This isn't something we meant to discuss with the entire family, Mrs. Castle-"

"I told you, it's Kate. And you don't have a choice because I'll share whatever you tell me with them so you might as well tell all of us at the same time. I made a promise that there weren't going to be any more secrets between us." Kate turned to Martha. "Are the boys asleep?"

Martha nodded. "Richard fell asleep reading his latest manuscript and JJ just went down again."

"How is your husband?" John asked and Kate raised startled eyes to his.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I have some idea of what he's going through."

Kate felt a chill race down her spine. "I think you'd better sit down and tell me exactly what the hell is going on because it's clear you know more than I do –"

Jane tilted her head. "Could we have some coffee?"

Kate opened her mouth to protest at the stall tactic but Martha squeezed her hand. "I'll make some. Go ahead and get started – I can hear you from the kitchen."

Alexis grabbed Kate's hand and they sat on the sofa before the agents could reclaim it. Jane sat on the overstuffed easy chair and John perched on the arm. No one spoke until Martha returned with the coffee tray and everyone had helped themselves.

"Talk," Kate ordered as she stirred cream into her mug.

John cleared his throat. "Do you remember an agent by the name of Martin Danberg?"

Kate frowned. "I don't – wait, he was Sophia Turner's partner, wasn't he?"

John nodded and the details of the case came back to her: Sophia's attempted assignation of a little girl to start a war and bring about the end of the world – but it was her betrayal of Castle that stung the most. She had tried to make her partner Danberg look guilty, to throw suspicion off herself. Sophia was dead but Kate had no idea where Danberg was.

"Ten days ago, Martin was killed – but not before he got off a package to your husband."

Kate shook her head. "Why would he send a package to Castle?"

The agents exchanged another long look. Jane picked up the story. "Does the name Jackson Hunt mean anything to you?"

Beside her, Alexis gasped and Kate squeezed her hand in comfort and also as a warning to remain silent. Jane's eyes zeroed in on Alexis and the girl squirmed under the scrutiny. "I can see that you know the name, Miss Castle."

Alexis looked at Kate and when the other woman nodded, Alexis whispered. "Yes, he's my grandfather."

"Who else knows this?"

"Only my dad, Kate, and Grams."

"And the two of you have told no one?"

Martha and Kate shook their heads.

Jane relaxed. "Well then, that's good."

Kate snapped. "All right – for the last time, I'm demanding that you tell us what the hell is going on. Six days ago my husband was kidnapped and tortured for information – and we still don't know why. He's lying in the other room with multiple injuries but my biggest concern is that he's forgotten the past eight years and I have no idea if he'll get his memory back."

"He will, Kate," John reassured her. "I did."

The fight went out of Kate as she stared at the man in disbelief. "You – you were injected with the same neural inhibitors as Castle?"

John nodded. "We had to know what we were dealing with. A small group of us volunteered and-"

"That's insane!" she cried. "To volunteer to be a human rat in some experiment when you have no idea what the side effects are – it could have killed you!"

"It's my job, ma'am."

"Bull shit – that's not part of any job requirement I'm aware of for the FBI or the CIA."

John sighed. "We are affiliated with the CIA – but in the strictest terms, we're more like the uncle no one talks about. We do the dirty work, the deep covert operations."

Martha leaned forward. "You mean, like Jackson does?"

Jane nodded. "Yes, we're part of Hunt's team."

Kate's head was spinning. "Team? Castle's father has a team?"

John nodded. "Agent Hunt has been trying to retire for years – but in our business you can't truly retire. You make too many enemies who are only satisfied with proof of your death – otherwise they continue to look for you and come after the people you care about."

"Which is what happened to me," Alexis sighed.

"We've been keeping a close eye on you ever since," Jane reassured her.

"Then what happened six days ago?"

Jane sighed. "Martin's cover was blown and he had to get the package out quickly – before it fell back into the wrong hands. So he slapped an address label on it and mailed it. One of our agents found the receipt with Castle's address on his body."

"If you have been watching Rick and Alexis all this time to protect them – how could you allow one of your agents to send such a package to our home?" Kate demanded. "We have a child – a baby! What if they had taken JJ?" her voice broke and Martha reached over to take her free hand.

"Martin acted alone and in fear for his life – all of us had strict orders to keep Castle and his family out of this. Hunt is furious-"

Kate's eyes flashed. "Castle's dad is alive?"

Jane cleared her throat. "We didn't say that."

Martha laughed. "Oh, you slipped up, honey. Jackson's alive and he's furious – that's what you just said. The question is: why isn't he here explaining all this to us?"

John grimaced. "It isn't safe – he has enemies everywhere."

Alexis shivered. "That's true."

Kate wrapped her arm around Lex's shoulders. "So, what's in this package?"

"The antidote to N745."

She frowned. "And that is?"

"The fatal version of N742 – the one currently in your husband's bloodstream."

All three women drew closer together for comfort. "So, Rick has been injected with N742, the nonlethal inhibitor?"

"Yes."

Kate swallowed. "How can you be sure?"

"Because we've seen his bloodwork – N742 is missing two components of its lethal counterpart, N745, and there is also the very important fact that he's still alive. Your husband will recover, Kate."

Alexis turned and began to sob quietly into Kate's neck, as Martha squeezed her other hand tightly. But she couldn't relax. There was something about the way Jane was looking at her – and John's stiff posture on the arm of the chair that made her feel cold.

"What it is? There's more you're not telling me."

John shifted on the arm of the chair. "Kate, how is your husband? I really want to know."

She shrugged. "Physically, he's healing all right. Still in some pain but nothing he can't handle. Emotionally-" she stopped to clear her throat. "He can't remember the last eight years."

"Is he having trouble being in the present when he wakes up? Does he think he's actually back in 2010?"

Kate's mouth dropped open. "Yes, how did you-?"

John fidgeted again and Jane interrupted. "It was the same way with John and the others who volunteered. We want to warn you, Kate. It's going to get worse before it gets better."

Kate swallowed. "Worse?"

Jane nodded. "The periods of time when he is living in the past will grow longer and if you try and bring him out of it – he'll grow violent."

Kate shook her head. "Not Rick – he'd never hurt me."

"It's not him, it's the drug," Jane argued. "N742 is designed to wipe out the memory of the people closest to you – and N745 is designed to completely erase your memory so that they can reprogram you into a perfect killing machine for the seventy-two hours you have left to live before the drug kills you."

Alexis shuddered against Kate. Martha's mouth fell open as she whispered. "Who on earth would design something so diabolical?"

John shrugged. "Does it matter? What matters is that Martin got his hands on the antidote and sent it to you-"

"And now it's lost."

"You're sure you have no idea where it is?"

"I don't even know what to look for – do you?"

John shrugged. "The receipt in Martin's pocket gave us some idea – we should be looking for a small package or an overseas mailer of some kind."

"Well, that narrows it down. Rick doesn't get too many packages from overseas. Martha, did anything come when you were here that morning?"

Martha raised a hand to her forehead in a dramatic fashion. "Six days ago? Darling, so much has happened – I don't think so, no."

Kate sighed. "You have the fan mail that Gina was bringing over, I presume?"

Jane nodded. "We'd like your help going through it."

"Of course, anything to end this nightmare."

* * *

An hour later, Kate sat back and stretched. She looked at the neat stacks around her on the floor, and tried not to feel defeated, but it was hard.

"You're sure this is everything?"

She shook her head. "No – this is what comes to Black Pawn Publishing. Do you know if Martin sent it there or did he send it to Castle directly?"

Jane exchanged a long look with John. "Unfortunately, we don't know. My gut says he would send it to Castle directly but I have no idea how he would know the address."

Kate nodded. "Black Pawn would be easier to get ahold of – all you would need to do is a web search. Rick keeps his address off the fan pages. Only his family, close friends, and of course his book agent Paula, and his publisher Gina know where he lives."

"Did Martin come here when you were working the case with Sophia?"

Kate shook her head. "No – but Sophia did. But wait – if he was tailing her or had her under surveillance-"

John nodded. "It's possible he knew then where Castle lived."

Alexis finished looking at her stack. "None of these have overseas postmarks – what country am I looking for again?"

Jane smiled tightly, refusing to take the bait. "I don't believe we said. Does your father get many letters from overseas?"

Alexis added her letters to the rest. "No, Dad gets the occasional ones from Europe – but there aren't any in this group. And I doubt the group you're looking for operates in Europe."

John leveled a serious gaze at her. "You're too smart for your own good."

Alexis grinned. "I read a lot."

There was a crash from the other room and an expletive of pain. Kate scrambled to her feet but John grabbed her elbow. "Remember what Jane told you – he will get worse before he gets better."

Kate swallowed as she shook the agent's arm off and ran towards Rick's office, Martha and Alexis trailing after her. When she opened the bedroom doors, her heart dropped as she saw Rick sitting on the floor beside the bed, his chair having rolled beyond his reach. As he saw them in the doorway, he tried to lift himself but the pain in his ribs and his broken leg prevented him from moving very much.

"What the hell happened to me? Beckett, what are you doing here?" Rick demanded, his eyes wide and panicked.

"Dad, stay there. I'll get your chair," Alexis soothed him as she ran into the room.

"Kiddo, are you hurt?" Martha exclaimed, as she knelt by his side.

"Only my dignity, Mother. But you haven't answered my question: what happened to me? Why do I have a broken leg and why do my ribs hurt like a-" he bit off the expletive as Alexis locked the wheelchair by Rick's good leg.

Kate hovered in the doorway, fighting the urge to run to her husband – or rather her partner. For the man on the floor currently had no idea they were married. Agent John had warned all of them that to bring Rick out of his fugue state before he was ready might cause him to become violent. Kate shivered – knowing what was going on didn't change the situation. It was still a waiting game. How long would it take before her Rick came back to her?

"Beckett?"

His voice brought her out of her trance.

"Why are you here?"

"I-"

"I called her, Richard," Martha broke in. "We needed an extra pair of hands to take care of you – I hope you're not mad."

Rick grunted. "I guess not – but Beckett's a very busy detective at the NYPD. She can't babysit a civilian who's screwed up and let a serial killer go free."

Kate's stomach dropped as she realized where Rick was in time: 3XK. Back to the first time they had confronted Tyson and the man had held Ryan and Castle hostage in the hotel room before tying them up and leaving them alive, walking out the door minutes before she and Montgomery arrived. She slowly crossed the room to crouch down in front of him. "It's not your fault, partner. I didn't figure out who Tyson was until it was too late either. We'll get him."

Rick's eyes met hers and held. "Before he kills again?"

The pain in his eyes and her knowledge of a future he couldn't yet remember made Kate want to weep. How could she reassure him when she knew Tyson would kill again, that he would come after Rick and frame him for murder, make doppelgangers of Lanie and Espo in order to erase his own police file?

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I can't make any promises, Castle. I just know that one day we'll find him and get justice for the families – you and me, all right?"

He dropped his eyes and nodded wearily. "I guess I'm going to need some help up."

Kate moved to his good side to take most of his weight, while Martha moved to the other side. Working together, they helped Rick stand and pivot on his good foot, and he sat down heavily in the wheelchair. Alexis came around and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. "Thanks, pumpkin. You –" suddenly his eyes narrowed and his grip tightened, causing Alexis to whimper. "Who are you?"

Kate was by Alexis' side in an instant, putting her hands around the young woman's waist. "Castle, this is your daughter, Alexis."

He shook his head as his fingers dug into the flesh of her face. "No, my daughter is sixteen. This young woman is older than that – who are you? Where's Alexis?"

"Daddy, let go," Alexis whimpered. "You're hurting me."

Kate laid her fingers over his and pried them loose. Alexis back away, one hand to her cheek and turned into Martha's embrace for comfort. Kate's ring caught the light and Rick snatched her hand, his grip tight.

"What's this?" he demanded. "Did you and Josh elope?"

Kate sighed. "No."

"Then what-" he stopped as he spied the ring on his own hand. "I – what the hell is going on? Beckett, answer me." He twisted her wrist and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

The bedroom door opened and John strode into the room. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Shocked, Rick dropped Kate's hand. "Who are you?"

"I'm John Blackstone, CIA."

Kate was rubbing her wrist and fighting tears, shooting John a silent word of thanks. He nodded. "Kate, why don't you go check on - things? I'll stay here and debrief Castle."

Kate fidgeted. "Do you think that's a good idea? He thinks-"

John waved her words away. "I know. But he also wants to know what is going on, am I right?"

He looked at Rick as he said the last words.

Rick looked at the man in suspicion but finally nodded.

Martha reached out a hand. "Come on, darling. Let's get some ice on your wrist and Alexis' cheek."

_He will get worse before he gets better._

As Kate let her mother-in-law lead her from the room, she silently prayed that they had seen the worst and it was going to get better from here on out.

* * *

**Reviews are LOVE.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, dear readers. This chapter was only half written before the holidays - and then that craziness was upon me! Hope you all had a good one. New episode tomorrow night - yay! Thank you for all the favorites, follows, and reviews - keep 'em coming, they feed my muse!**

* * *

"Katherine, don't ask me to leave you here alone with Richard – not when he's taken a turn for the worst. I won't do it, darling."

Kate gave Julian a kiss and handed him to Martha. "You have to, mom. You offered to take JJ to your apartment earlier – I need you to do that. Take Alexis with you too. I need them both out of harm's way."

Martha bounced JJ in her arms. "And what about you?"

Kate ignored the throbbing in her wrist. "I'll be fine. So far Rick hasn't noticed the fact that my hair is longer and I'll just put these in a safe place." She slipped her rings off and crossed to her jewelry box, lifting the lid and looked for the chain that used to hold her mother's ring.

Martha watched her with sad eyes as Kate slid the rings on the chain and put it over her head, slipping it under her shirt. "There. Now he won't have a reason to become incensed the next time he sees me."

"Katherine-"

Kate shook her head. "I need you to look after my son – our son, please? And Alexis is really hurting right now. I think it would be best if she went with you."

"I'm not leaving you, Kate."

Kate whirled to see the young woman standing in the doorway, Alexis' blue eyes flashing fire.

"Lex," Kate sighed. "Please-"

"No. I'll stay out of my dad's sight until his memory comes back if that's what you and Grams want me to do, but I'm not leaving you." Alexis stepped up to Kate's side. "Dad's been telling us for years that you've been alone until he came along – until we came along. You're not alone anymore, Kate. I'm not leaving."

Kate's tears overflowed as she threw her arms around Alexis. "You're as stubborn as your father."

The young woman grinned. "Well, I had to inherit something from him, right?"

* * *

Kate called Ryan and Espo and they promised to take turns sitting outside Martha's apartment building to make sure nothing happened to Castle's mom or Castle Jr. She felt bad that she couldn't read them in, but they seemed to understand. And all she had to do was mention JJ's name and they were volunteering for the protection detail. Her eyes misted again as she hung up the phone; _my family always comes through._

She and Alexis moved around the kitchen, heating up leftovers from dinner and making a huge salad to go with it. Jane hadn't moved from the easy chair or offered to help and John was still in the bedroom talking to Castle.

"She's an odd duck, isn't she?" Alexis whispered as they set the table.

Kate nodded. "Her partner did most of the talking – I can't really figure her out."

"You do know I can hear you, right?" Jane spoke for the first time, causing both women to jump.

Alexis giggled. "Sorry, Agent Doe. Is there anything we can get you?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks. Not really hungry."

John came out of the study just then. "Rick said to tell you he'll be out in a few minutes and that the food smells great."

Alexis nearly dropped the water pitcher as she looked anxiously at Kate. "Should I go upstairs?"

Kate was at a loss for words. She shrugged and looked at John. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that the two of you had been undercover as a married couple, and that he'd been injured – that's why his memory is a little foggy."

Both women's mouths dropped open.

"You – you lied?" Alexis stammered.

John fought hard to keep the smile off his face. "I'm not going to tell him the truth when he thinks it's 2010, Alexis. What would be the point of that?"

Kate gripped the back of a chair as a wave of dizziness swept over her.

"Are you all right, Mrs. – Kate?" Jane inquired as she came up to the table.

"I'm beginning to feel like Alice in Wonderland."

Jane nodded. "It will get better, I assure you."

"When?"

"Well, let's see. Castle was injected seventy hours ago?"

"We found him three days ago – so the last time his abductors could have injected him was then, yes."

"Then according to our extensive field research, he should recover in another two or three days."

"A full recovery?"

John fidgeted. "There will be no more fugue states and Castle will get his memory back, however there will be some permanent memory loss."

Alexis gripped Kate's hand. Kate whispered, "How much?"

"It varies from person to person."

Kate frowned at John. "You said you got injected with this same inhibitor, correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you have permanent memory loss?"

He hesitated before nodding slowly.

"How much?"

"A year."

Kate swayed on her feet as she felt Alexis wrap her arms around her waist, steadying her. One whole year? That was her entire pregnancy and JJ's life up until now. Rick would be devastated to forget such a milestone in their life together.

Jane was speaking, her voice trying to soothe. "Not all of our test subjects lost such a huge chunk of time. For some it was only three months – for others it was six." She shrugged. "Unfortunately, we just have no way of predicting how much memory loss each individual will sustain."

Kate felt rage – rage at Martin Danberg for placing all of them in danger by sending such a package in the first place. Her husband was going to be permanently scarred by this – she just didn't see a way around it. How on earth was she supposed to get justice for him when she was fighting against conspiracy theories and chemical warfare?

"Something smells good in here. Is it ready because I am starving!"

Kate jumped and turned to see Rick smiling as he wheeled himself into the room. "I – I'll just check the lasagna."

Alexis followed her. "What should I do, Kate? Stay or-"

Kate opened the oven and lifted the foil, nodding when she saw the sauce bubbling. "Take your hair down, Lex. Wearing it loose around your shoulders makes you look younger – and that's how you used to wear it back then." She lifted the pan out and put it on top of the stove.

Alexis lifted her hands to her hair, pulling out several hairpins. "I guess I shouldn't have been surprised Dad didn't recognize Jonathan, huh? I mean even though we've been friends since grade school, we didn't reconnect until recently and he looks older now too." She shook her hair out around her shoulders. "This OK?"

Kate looked at her and nodded. "You sure about this? You don't have to eat with us – I mean, it's going to be strange and we're going to have to watch what we say."

Alexis nodded. "I'm not leaving you."

Kate shook her head but smiled in thanks. "Food's ready, come and get it, everybody."

* * *

_This is the most uncomfortable meal I've ever eaten in this apartment._

Kate sipped at her wine, silently wishing her glass contained something stronger. She noticed how Lex's hand trembled as she held her fork and reached out for her water goblet and Kate had to resist the urge to squeeze her free hand. She had never tried to take Meredith's place since she and Rick had gotten married – she had viewed herself more as a big sister to Lex – and tonight her heart was hurting to see his daughter in so much pain.

"Please excuse me, Dad, I need have to-" Alexis' eyes darted to Kate, at a loss for words.

"You have that big test tomorrow –" Kate smiled, giving her an out. After all, Rick thought it was October 2010, not July 4, 2017.

Rick sighed. "I'm sure you're ready – can't you stay for awhile longer?"

Alexis smiled but shook her head as she scooted upstairs.

"You'll have to forgive my daughter, John," Rick turned to the agent. "I honestly don't know where she inherited her studious streak –"

"Yes, it's a mystery to all of us-" Kate lifted her glass in acknowledgement.

"Beckett," Rick shook his head at her. "Where's my mother by the way?"

Kate fidgeted. "Um, she had an appointment that she couldn't get out of –"

He waved the words away. "Say no more – no wonder she asked you to come over and help out tonight – " His eyes landed on his wedding ring and he frowned. "Oh, I should give this back so you can give it back to Montgomery. I noticed that you took yours off already."

Kate swallowed, her heart in her throat. "I didn't mean to upset you earlier-"

He reached across the table and grabbed her hand as John and Jane silently rose from the table and left, giving them some privacy. "I'm sorry I overreacted, Beckett – I was just surprised. My memory is really foggy. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

_Oh, Rick._

Kate bit her lip to hold in the sob as she shook her head.

Rick relaxed. "Good – here." He slipped the ring off his finger and held it out to her. She hesitated before wrapping her hand around the ring, tears blurring her vision.

"Always," he whispered.

She raised startled eyes to his, their fingers still joined. "What?"

His eyes fluttered shut, then open. "Kate?"

"Yes?"

"You – we're –" he shook his head. "Why are you holding my wedding ring?"

The tears slipped down Kate's face as she released his hand to come around the table to kneel at his side. "Rick, what's the last thing you remember?"

He frowned. "Coming home – talking with you about my father. Then later, wasn't Gina here?"

Kate nodded.

He groaned. "I did something, didn't I? Or I almost did and you were angry and hurt." He cupped her face. "Kate, I know I don't remember very much of the last seven years but you have to believe me when I say this: I love you. I've never loved any woman the way I love you."

Kate couldn't hold the sob back as Rick pulled her up and into his lap. She buried her face in his neck. "How can you be so sure?" she whispered.

He pulled her back enough so he could look into her eyes. "Because after my second marriage broke up, I made Alexis a promise-"

Kate arched her left eyebrow. She hadn't heard this before. Resting her head against his collarbone, she trailed a hand up to smooth back his hair. "What was it?"

"I promised her that the next time I contemplated marriage, it would be to someone who loved both of us, recognized that we came as a unit and wanted to be part of a family. I've watched you the last few days with my daughter and our son – if I didn't love you before, I'm hopelessly in love with you now."

Kate grinned. "You still have a way with words, Writer Boy."

"Writer Man, Kate."

She chuckled and pressed a kiss against the side of his neck. _Perhaps we're going to be OK after all._

He sighed. "I just wish I knew what the hell really happened to me."

She stiffened in his arms.

"What is it?"

"Rick-"

"Kate, don't lie to me. You've found out something. What is it?"

"I take it you're back in the present, Castle?"

Kate started slightly in Rick's arms as she turned to look at John. "What was your first clue?" she sneered.

John grinned. "Shall we get started?"

She frowned. "Now?"

He nodded. "We don't have any time to waste, Kate – and now that Castle is himself-"

Rick frowned. "What the hell is going on?"

Kate sighed and slipped out of her husband's arms. "Come on, Castle. It's time for your real debriefing."

* * *

Castle stared at the two CIA agents in shock. Kate squeezed his hand and their rings clinked together. "Rick?" she whispered.

"I – it's a lot to absorb," he muttered. "So, we were right." He turned to look at her. "My father is behind all this."

Kate nodded but Jane interrupted, "Indirectly, Mr. Castle. It was Agent Danberg who sent the package-"

Rick waved the words away. "But the man worked for my father – wait, when I asked him, he said he didn't know him."

"What was he supposed to say – yeah, he's my boss?" Kate snorted.

"Martin didn't know Hunt was your father when he worked with Sophia. Your father had her pegged as a double agent for years and assigned Martin as her partner to watch her and wait for the perfect opportunity to expose her. The fact that you were in on the final operation caused him a few sleepless nights, believe me," Jane explained.

"Why isn't he here, explaining all this?" Rick demanded.

"Too dangerous – he's close but for him to come see you would only put you and your family in more danger."

Kate laughed. "More danger? My husband has been kidnapped, tortured, given a neural inhibitor that's erased his memory, and this afternoon some mystery man attacked his ex-wife outside our apartment and then killed himself before we could get any information. I don't see how we could be in any more danger!"

"Really?" Jane's voice went down an octave. "They could have injected Castle with N745. They could kidnap your baby and hold him for the antidote or –"

Kate held up her hand. "Enough, OK? You've made your point."

Rick put his arm around Kate's shoulders and pulled her close. "Could you try not to scare my wife, please? She's been through hell the past week."

"Look, we'll be out of your lives as soon as we find that package."

"It wasn't in the fan mail or our personal mail," Kate told him. "Any other ideas?"

He frowned. "You're asking the man with no memory of the best years of his life?"

She smiled slightly. "Focus, Castle."

He rubbed his forehead. "Seriously, Kate, I don't – wait, did you ask Mrs. McDonnell?"

Kate snapped her fingers. "Of course!"

"Who's Mrs. McDonnell?" John demanded.

"She's our feisty Irish neighbor – hates mysteries, only reads Harlequin romance novels. If we're not home, the postman knows to knock on her door and she signs for any packages and keeps them until we get home."

Jane frowned. "Why wouldn't she have brought it over before now?"

"Because she goes to her daughter's house in the Hamptons for the 4th – she would have left the same day Castle was kidnapped and she's not due back until tomorrow."

John nodded. "It's a long shot – I'll be right back." He slipped out the front door.

Kate leaned in, cupping Rick's face and giving him a swift kiss. "See, even with amnesia I have the perfect partner."

He grinned. "We haven't found the package yet." As he pulled away, he noticed the red marks on her left wrist. "Kate, what happened to your wrist?"

"Oh, this? It's nothing." She dropped her hand to the couch.

He put a finger under her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. "What happened?"

She squirmed. "Rick – it's ok- you didn't-"

His eyes widened in horror as his hand left her face. "Oh God, I did that? I hurt you!"

* * *

**A/N: Poor Rick - he'd never hurt Kate (in his right mind). Want more? Reviews are LOVE!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So much love in reviews! Keep 'em coming! ;)**

* * *

Kate reached out for him but Rick wheeled away from her. "Rick, don't," she sighed. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me – you weren't-" she fumbled for the right words.

"In my right mind?" he lashed out, the pain in his eyes making Kate's heart ache.

"I wasn't going to say that," she whispered as Jane slipped from the room. "I was going to say that you weren't in the present with me – you were back in 2010, when Josh and I were dating – you were confused-"

"which still doesn't give me the right to hurt you!" he finished angrily.

"Kate? Dad?" Alexis' voice floated down the stairs. "Is everything OK down there?"

Kate jumped to her feet. The last thing she needed right now was for Alexis to come downstairs and show her freshly bruised face. That would send Rick over the edge. "Everything's fine, Lex. Sorry for the shouting-"

She must not have sounded convincing because footsteps sounded on the stairs. "Are you sure, Kate?" Alexis' eyes met Kate's as she came into the living room. "Why was Dad shouting just now?"

Both women turned to see Rick staring at Alexis. "Rick, don't-" Kate pleaded.

His face had gone pale and his breathing was rapid and shallow. "What kind of monster am I?"

Alexis frowned. "Dad, what are you talking about?"

"Your face-" Rick whispered. "I – did I?"

Alexis blushed and lowered her eyes. "It was an accident, Dad – you didn't mean to do it."

He thumped the arms of his wheelchair. "You both sound like battered women right now! That's exactly what they say. Oh God! Is this what I've become?"

Kate took a step towards him. "Rick, please let me explain-"

He wheeled away from her. "Stay back, Kate. I don't want to hurt you again."

She shook her head. "You would never hurt me."

He pointed to her wrist and nodded at Alexis' face. "Those bruises are evidence to the contrary."

"Castle-" she sighed in exasperation.

"No – just leave me alone." He wheeled himself into his study and slammed the door.

* * *

Kate and Alexis remained frozen until the front door opened a few moments later and John slipped back inside. "Castle was right – here's the package."

Kate blinked. "So that's it? You got what you came for and you're leaving us to pick up the pieces of this nightmare?"

"I don't see what more we can accomplish here," Jane shrugged.

"You could at least ask Jackson to come see his son," Kate growled.

"What good would that serve?" Jane questioned.

"What good would that serve?" Kate echoed. "Are you kidding me?"

"Ladies, please," John held up a hand. "Did I miss something?"

Kate ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm the flood of emotions she was feeling.

Alexis looked at Kate before she whispered, "My dad saw the bruises on me and Kate. He's upset."

John nodded. "Of course – I heard the shouting but I couldn't make out the words. Do you want me to talk to him?"

Kate frowned. "I thought you said you had permanent memory loss."

John exchanged a long look with Jane. "I was under constant video surveillance – I've seen the tapes of the days I was under the influence of N742, so I know what I did. I do know what he's going through."

Jane interrupted him. "John, we have to get that package back to the lab now."

He handed it to Jane, who took it with a frown. "You go ahead, I'm going to stay here and talk to Castle."

"We don't have time to do hand holding."

"Is that what you're going to tell Hunt – that we didn't have time to help his son?"

Jane stiffened and Kate watched as a veil came down over her eyes. "I'll see you back at the office later." She left without a backwards glance.

"She's a breath of fresh air," Kate muttered.

John sighed. "Her fiancé was one of the first causalities of N745 – so I'm afraid she isn't very sympathetic to others."

Kate studied John for a moment. "She seems to care about you."

He nodded. "We grew up in the same foster home – we're practically brother and sister."

Something about the way he said the word 'practically' made her wonder if perhaps John felt more for Jane but she didn't have time to dwell on it because the man was already walking into Castle's study.

"Kate, are you OK?"

She wanted to laugh; it was such a ridiculous question. She honestly didn't know how she was feeling. At least the Feds had found their precious package and were out of their hair – but if their estimates were correct, it would still be a couple of days before she had her husband back.

Kate managed a smile. "I don't know, Lex."

The young woman pulled her into a hug. "Me either. I love you, Kate."

"I love you too, Lex."

* * *

The study door swung open and Rick's head shot up from the lap top perched on his knees. "Kate, I thought I told you-" his voice broke off as he saw who was in the doorway. "Oh, John. Did you find the package at Mrs. McDonnell's?"

John nodded as he came in and shut the door behind him. "Yes, Jane took it back to the office."

Rick smiled. "Good – I'm glad that I was able to help," his voice trailed off again as his fists clenched. "Instead of hurting-"

"Look, Castle-"

Rick groaned. "Oh, not you too. I suppose my wife sent you in here to cheer me up but listen, I don't need a pep talk, all right? I don't know what you can say to make me feel better. I hurt my wife and child. Nothing you can say is going to make that better-"

"Not even the fact that I know how you feel?"

He snorted. "Especially that."

John nodded. "How about I tell you a story instead?"

Rick's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

John shrugged. "You're a writer, you like stories, don't you?"

Rick set the lap top on his desk. "Go ahead."

John came further into the room and sat down across from him, letting his eyes wander as he talked. "Once upon a time, there was a handsome secret service agent who volunteered for a dangerous mission. It involved being injected with an unknown chemical substance and being monitored round the clock by video to watch the drug's interactions. This was completely voluntary and though the handsome secret service agent was apprised of the risks, he decided to do it for the information would help save the lives of future agents. He went in, got the injection and the next thing he knew, he was waking up in the lab with no memory of the past year. The doctors told him that the test had already happened and the information they had gathered had been invaluable. The secret service agent was pleased to have helped, though a bit uneasy at the fact that he had lost a year of his life."

"Is this a true story?" Rick interrupted.

"Please reserve your questions for the end."

"Sorry."

"The handsome secret service agent was cleared for work. It wasn't long before he noticed that the other members of his team were treating him with kid gloves and he wondered why. Since he couldn't remember the past year, he asked if he had done anything and finally one of them said: 'not to me'. He had also noticed that his best friend and partner hadn't been at work; when he asked he was told she was out with the flu. She didn't answer his calls or emails. On the third day after his return to work, the handsome secret service agent had finally had enough. He picked up take out from his partner's favorite restaurant and stopped by her apartment after work. When she answered the door, he dropped the food in shock." John swallowed the emotion in his throat. "Her face was covered in bruises, and she had a split lip that was just beginning to heal. He demanded to know who had beaten her, but she refused to tell him and slammed the door in his face. He was scared, really scared. He had a feeling that the only way he was going to get answers was to watch the video footage from the lab of when he was under the influence of the drug – but he knew his superiors wouldn't let him just have it. His partner returned to work the next day, but refused to talk about the bruises, saying that she was fine but the rift between them grew bigger. The rest of his team took pity on him and helped him get a copy of the video footage. What he saw made him sick to his stomach, but at least he knew the truth-" John broke off, clearing his throat.

"This is your own story, isn't it?"

John nodded.

"You willingly took the same drug that I'm now infected with – why?"

"Agents were dying – Jane's own fiancé had been killed with N742," John shrugged. "I wanted to help."

Rick shook his head. "You paid a terrible price. A whole year of your life – gone."

John grimaced. "That's nothing – don't you understand, Castle? I almost raped a woman while I was under the influence of that drug!"

Rick swallowed. "That – that's what you saw on the video surveillance? And they didn't come in to stop you?"

"My partner at the time, Clair – we had dated in the past. When I was in one of my fugue states, she was allowed inside to visit and I thought we were still dating. I tried to force myself on her. She fought me off and I fought back. Both of us ended up with bruises but she got the worst end of the deal, believe me. I don't blame her for transferring to another team – she couldn't stand to look at me after that. Hell, it was six months before I could stand to look at myself in a mirror."

Rick shuddered. "I don't want something like that hanging over my head-"

"It won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I've watched you with Kate. She can take care of herself plus in your fugue states you still remember that she's part of your life."

"Then why did I hurt her?"

"You got upset when you saw her ring – that's why she took it off. Maybe she should keep your rings together somewhere until you get your memory back."

"What about Alexis? That wasn't about rings-" Rick shook his head.

"No. Unfortunately you finally tumbled to the fact that your daughter looks older than sixteen. Perhaps she should stay with your mother-"

"I won't go."

Both men turned to see Alexis and Kate standing in the doorway. John stood and nodded at Rick. "If you need anything, just call. I've left my card on the kitchen island."

"Thanks, John," Kate whispered as he brushed past her.

Alexis crossed the room to drop down beside Rick's chair. "Daddy-"

"Pumpkin, I'm so sorry-" he lifted a shaking hand but dropped it before he touched her.

Alexis grabbed his hand and brought it to her face. "Dad, I know you didn't mean to hurt me – you just squeezed me a little too tight, that's all. Remember when I hid in the clothes rack in Macy's and fell asleep and you couldn't find me and you called security and the mall cops?"

Rick nodded.

"And then when you found me you held me so tight one of my ribs popped? You panicked and took me to the emergency room just to be sure you hadn't accidentally cracked it?"

He nodded again, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"That's my dad – the man who would never hurt me – and who would drive me to the hospital every time one of my little tiny bones made a funny popping sound."

"But-"

Alexis rose up and kissed his cheek. "No 'buts', Dad. It was the drug and nothing more. Subject closed, OK?"

He nodded and looped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "I love you, Pumpkin."

"Me too, Dad." She stepped back and smiled. "Now, I'm going to go call my boyfriend and watch the fireworks out our living room window."

Kate smiled at her as she slipped past. "Am I still under orders to leave you alone or can I come in now?"

He held out his hand and she came forward to take it, squealing as he pulled her into his lap. His lips sought hers and for several moments, Kate lost herself in her husband's caress. She let the world and the troubles of the past six days fall away and focused on the pressure of Rick's lips, his hands as they caressed her back, and moaned into his kiss.

He pulled away just far enough to breath against her skin. "I need you, Kate."

She smiled. "Your daughter is in the next room, Castle, and have you forgotten your injuries?"

He grinned as he captured an earlobe between his teeth. "No, I'm just on really good painkillers and you like to be on top – so you'd be doing most of the work, not me."

She tugged hard on the opposite ear and he released her lobe with a pop. "OW! Apples, apples, apples, Kate!"

She laughed. "It's nice to know that some things never change – even when you have amnesia, Castle."

* * *

"Thanks for the coffee, Bro. Where'd you go to get it, Connecticut?"

"Hey, you do realize it's a holiday, right?"

"Yeah, the 4th of July, not Christmas."

"It's not my fault there was a run on Starbucks. Drink your damn espresso and be grateful."

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

Ryan sighed. "Nothing – I just wish we had something to go on – instead we're sitting outside Mrs. Rodgers' apartment on our asses while the Feds have taken over our case."

"Beckett didn't tell you anything?"

"No, but I got the feeling it wasn't because she didn't want to – it was because she couldn't, you know? Like the Feds were there breathing down her neck."

"Do you think I should go check on her?"

"Javi, Beckett knows how to handle the Feds."

"Well, yeah, I know that. But with – ugh, what's in this coffee?"

"What do you mean?"

"It-" Espo slumped sideways in the seat.

"Javi!" Ryan checked his partner's pulse, relieved when he felt it strong and steady beneath his fingertips. He reached for his cell and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Rodgers, this is Ryan-"

"Oh, hello Detective. Is something wrong?"

"My partner was just drugged. I'm going to cover the exits and be right up – don't open the door or answer the phone until I get there, all right?"

"I understand."

Ryan pulled his gun and stepped from the car only to feel the muzzle of another gun in the side of his neck.

"You should have drunk your coffee, Detective Ryan."

* * *

Martha paced her studio apartment, a sleeping JJ in her arms, and waited for Detective Ryan's arrival. It had been five minutes since his phone call and she had no idea if that had been too long. How long did it take to check the building? In Richard's novels, it took Nikki Heat a couple of pages but this wasn't fiction, this was real life. She was relieved that JJ couldn't feel her tension and that he continued to sleep on, blissfully unaware.

There was a slight noise on the other side of her door and she froze. "Ryan?" she whispered, but made no move to open her door. "Is that you?"

Her eyes widened as her doorknob jiggled and slowly began to turn. Martha's eyes scanned her open one room apartment, knowing the only place to hide was her bathroom and that was the first place anyone would look. Having no other alternative, she backed into the room, shutting and leaning against the door, listening.

Martha heard her front door open and after a brief pause, footsteps began moving towards the bathroom.

* * *

**A/N: Put down your weapons, readers - I won't leave you hanging too long! Reviews are LOVE. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N at end. . . .**

* * *

Martha set JJ gently in the bathtub and looked around for something to use as a weapon. She regretted never learning how to shoot. Ever since she had been a hostage at that bank she had told herself that she needed to get a permit and learn how to fire a weapon for her own protection. Now as she listened to the footsteps come closer, Martha wished she had taken Katherine up on her offer to go with her to the shooting range. It was never too late to learn, right? Except now when there was a killer in her apartment and she needed a gun to protect her and her grandson. In desperation she picked up the plunger and held it over her shoulder, ready to strike.

The bathroom door opened and before she took the time to second guess herself, she knocked the gun from the intruder's hand and then swung again, whipping the plunger across the man's face.

"Ouch! Son of a Bitch! Put that down, Mattie, before you put my eye out."

Martha froze, the plunger hanging limply in her grip. She hadn't been called 'Mattie' since her college days – and only her closest friends had called her that. But the man before her was a stranger. She stared at him in confusion, and then dropped the plunger in shock as the eye that was open met hers. "Jack?" she whispered.

He nodded, still holding the side of his head. "Yeah, it's me, Mattie."

"You look so different –"

Jackson sighed. "I've had plastic surgery to change my appearance."

She narrowed her eyes. "How can I be sure it's you?"

"The first time I ever saw you, you were wearing a white dress with tiny yellow rosebuds on it that matched my yellow tie – you said it was kismet."

Martha reached out a trembling hand and he took it in his. "It is you – why are you here?"

"I've come to get you and JJ out of here. They are coming to get you – to kidnap my grandson in order to exchange his life for the package. So get him and let's go."

Martha lifted JJ into her arms. "Wait – we have to get word to Katherine. She's been through too much. I can't let her think her son's been kidnapped-"

The power went out in the apartment and they heard voices in the hall, demanding to know what the hell was going on. Jackson grabbed her, pulling her against him. "They're here, we've got to go." He leaned down and pulled his spare gun from his ankle. "Here, take this. Have you ever shot a gun?"

Martha shook her head.

"It's simple, just point and shoot."

"But – what if I hit someone that's not-"

He placed a finger to his lips as he pressed his ear to the front door. "As long as you're not hit, that's all that matters." He cracked the door open and peered into the darkened hall. "Now go."

"What about you?"

"I'll be right behind you."

"I've heard that before."

"Mattie-"

"I know, I know. Don't look back and keep running."

Jack nodded. "Good girl."

* * *

"I'm afraid to fall asleep."

Kate closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of Rick's heart beneath her ear. They hadn't made love, but they had definitely made out and were now lying in bed, relaxed and content to be in each others' arms after the ordeal of the past few days. Alexis had left over an hour ago to go see Jonathan and maybe stop by to check on Grams and JJ. The apartment was still and quiet and for just a few moments Kate had imagined that everything was fine – but reality had come crashing back in.

"I know," she sighed, shifting her head to pepper his chest with kisses.

"I don't want to wake up and think it's 2010 or 2011 or sometime when we're not married and in love. I'm afraid I'll hurt you-"

"Hey," she captured his face in her hands. "Enough of that, all right? Our rings are in the safe for now and there they'll stay until you remember us."

He brushed his lips across hers. "I do love you, Kate."

She smiled. "I know."

"Since I can't remember – can I ask you something?"

She nodded.

"Where's your mom's ring? I noticed that you don't wear it anymore."

Kate nestled her head back on his chest as she reached down and laced their fingers together. "Dad has it."

Rick frowned. "Is he keeping it for you?"

She shook her head. "I gave it to him – for keeps."

"I'm sorry, Kate, but I don't understand. I don't remember-"

She rolled off him, so that she could see his eyes, but kept hold of his hand. "I realized that holding onto my mother's memory, her murder, was keeping me from moving on – from loving you and having the life with you that I wanted. So during our wedding, before we lit the unity candle, I stopped and told you that I needed to do something first. I walked over and gave Dad mom's ring and then came back to you. I told you that it was just the two of us in this marriage, not three. You promised me again that one day we'd get Bracken, and I believe that. But it doesn't need to consume me – it doesn't need to keep me from living, from loving you and Alexis and Martha and JJ. I let my mom go the day I married you. I'll always miss her – but you helped me release her. You set me free."

Rick pulled Kate into his arms, and she buried her face in his neck. "Thank you," he whispered.

She pulled back. "For what?"

"For sharing that with me – for letting me in, for loving me, for making JJ with me – I never thought I'd get a third chance at marriage."

She grinned. "You know what they say, 'third time's the charm'." The ringing of her cell killed the mood and she groaned. She reached out a hand and brought the offending object to her ear. "Beckett."

"Kate?"

"Lex? What's wrong?"

"Oh God, Kate! Grams – JJ – "

Kate sat up, pulling away to locate her discarded clothing. "Where are you?"

"At Grams' – the place is a mess – they're not here –"

"What do you mean, they're not there? Where's Ryan and Espo?"

"On the way to the hospital-" Lex sobbed. "Oh Kate-"

Kate swore. "Hang on, I'm coming, OK? I'm coming."

* * *

"Lex!"

She turned at the sound of Kate's voice, and broke away from the officer questioning her. "Over here!"

Kate flashed her badge and ID as she stepped over the crime scene tape. Alexis flew into her arms. "Hush, Lex. I'm here now – can you tell me what happened?"

"Jonathan and I stopped by after he finished his tutoring job. The whole building was dark and most of the residents were outside but Grams wasn't there. Jonathan has a penlight on his keychain so I came inside and found this-" she waved her hands around the studio.

Martha's artistic apartment had been trashed – the cushions and bed torn apart, artwork strewn across the floor and ripped from the frames, flowers out of vases and the glass smashed across the wood.

But there was no blood and no sign of her son or Martha anywhere.

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate turned and saw an officer from the 15th. "Davies, right?"

The man nodded. "I understand this is your mother-in-law's apartment?"

Kate nodded. "Yes, she was watching my son-" her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "Any sign of them?"

Davies shook his head. "There are a few bullet holes in the hallway-"

"What!" Kate started. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, ma'am. You probably didn't see them when you came up because the power's still out but we found the casings on the floor."

"Any blood?"

Davies nodded. "Some – but not enough to indicate fatalities. We'd like you to take a look around, see if anything's missing."

"Of course, they were clearly looking for something."

"Do you have any idea what that might be?"

Kate bit her tongue as she shook her head.

"Can you tell me why you had cops from the 12th stationed outside this building?"

Again Kate shook her head.

Davies sighed. "I'm going to go check on how soon we can have power restored to the rest of the building. Maybe when I get back, you'll be more forthcoming with your answers."

"Don't count on it," Kate muttered as she watched Davies leave.

"Did he know anything?" Alexis pressed her as she reappeared by Kate's side.

Kate shook her head. "No, he wants me to give him the answers and I can't – have you found anything?" she looked around the room, trying to see in the low level lighting the cops had carted upstairs.

"Just this." Alexis handed Kate a copy of Casino Royale. "I guess Grams was reading it when the lights went out-"

Kate shook her head. Rick had kept the copy his father had sent him. As far as she knew, Martha didn't have one. Was this a clue? Was Jackson behind the mysterious kidnapping of her son? She flipped open the book and stared at the first page. "I think there are some letters underlined but it's so faint – I need some more light."

Alexis held up Jonathan's penlight. "Here." She shone it on the page. "Is that better?"

Kate nodded. "Lex, look." The random underlined letters on the page spelled a name:

J-A-C-K-S-O-N H-U-N-T.

* * *

"You think my father took JJ and Mother for their own safety?"

Kate nodded. "Or that was the plan anyway – and then someone else came along and cut the power, shot at them, and tried to thwart their escape."

Rick frowned. "Do you think they made it?"

"You know your father better than I do – do you think he got them out?"

They were interrupted as a nurse came into the waiting room. "Family of Kevin Ryan?"

Jenny stood. "I'm his wife, how is he?"

"He's going to be just fine, Mrs. Ryan. He was knocked out with a nasty tranquilizer and we also removed a bullet from his shoulder. He'll need to wear a sling for a few weeks but he's fine."

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief. "May I see him now?"

"Of course, follow me."

"Excuse me," Kate interrupted. "I'm Detective Beckett, NYPD, one of Ryan's partners. Can you tell me how Javier Esposito is doing?"

"Ryan's partner?"

Kate nodded.

"He's signing his release papers right now –"

Javi walked through the doors. "Hey guys, I'm fine, really."

Kate stood and wrapped her arms around him. "Are you sure?"

"No sweat, Beckett. How's Martha and Castle Jr.?"

She winced. "I – I don't know."

Javi's jaw clenched. "You mean the bastards got them?" He swore in Spanish before noticing Alexis. "Sorry, Lex."

She shrugged.

Rick gave a weak laugh. "I'm just glad you and Ryan are going to be all right. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you guys."

"Hey, I'm pretty tough to kill."

"Yeah, leave that to me, would you?"

Javi whirled to see Lanie in the doorway, her face unreadable but her eyes bright. "Hey, chica. You didn't need to come all the way down here for little ol' me. I'm fine, really."

She crossed to his side and slapped his shoulder. "I'm not here for you – I'm here to check on your partner."

"Oh, right. If that's your story-"

"It's the truth!"

"Right-" Javi rolled his eyes.

Rick leaned over to whisper in Kate's ear. "What's with them?"

"They've had an on again off again relationship for years – it's been on for awhile now and I think Lanie's expecting a commitment but Javi's dragging his feet."

Rick's mouth fell open. "Seriously?"

She nodded.

"Man, I need to get my memory back – look at all the fun I've been missing!"

* * *

Jonathan put some quarters in the vending machine and waited while coffee was made. Alexis came out of the restroom. "There you are. I was wondering where you had disappeared to-" she leaned in and kissed him softly. "You don't have to stay with me, you know. You must be tired."

He lifted the steaming cup to his lips and took a cautious sip, grimacing at the foul taste. "It's OK, I want to be here for you."

"That's really sweet." Lex laced her fingers with his. "I'm sure we'll hear something about my Grams and JJ soon."

"Oh? How can you be so sure?"

"Well, I –" she paused, torn. She wanted to tell him what was going on but at the same time, she knew that the fewer people who knew about her grandfather, the safer her family would be. "I just do. Kate's really good at her job – and so are the rest of the people at the 12th – I know it won't be long before they're home."

"You're an eternal optimist," he smiled as he took another sip.

She shrugged. "I guess so."

"Tell me – what did the police say? Do they have any leads on who took your grandmother or what they might have been looking for?"

Lex shook her head. "No, in fact they're hoping Kate can –" Her eyes widened as she pulled her hand free. "How do you know they were looking for something?"

"Wasn't it obvious from how the apartment was trashed?"

She nodded. "Except you didn't go upstairs with me – you gave me your penlight and waited outside in case we'd missed Grams in the crowd." Lex began to back away but Jonathan reacted fast, throwing the remainder of his hot coffee in her face. She shrieked and he was on her, pulling her against him, clamping a hand over her mouth, muffling the cries. He pulled something from his jacket pocket and her eyes widened in terror as she saw the syringe.

"Now sweetie, I don't need to tell you what this is, do I?"

She shook her head.

"But I will anyway, just in case you get any bright ideas of signaling for help as we walk out of here. This is full of N745 – the lethal version of the drug that is currently in your father's bloodstream. I'd hate to have to give this to you – but I will if you don't cooperate, understand?"

She nodded as the tears spilled down her reddened cheeks.

"Good. Now, we're going to walk out the front doors, hand in hand, two young people in love. Any questions?"

Alexis shook her head, her eyes wide in panic as she stared at the stranger her boyfriend had become.

* * *

**A/N: OK, breathe people. I couldn't hurt Martha and JJ - so of course, I'm not going to hurt Alexis either. Are you glad to see Rick's dad? I wanted to get my scene up before tomorrow night's episode airs - and who's excited for that? Btw, in this universe, that episode never happens - the gang + Kate has never met Jackson Hunt before. Want more? Reviews are LOVE!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I wrote these scenes with Castle's Dad before the episode "Deep Cover" aired. I read spoilers so I knew he was coming back and I've seen the episode and while I liked it - I'm partial to my version of Jackson. Remember this is an AU fic, so the episode of 'Deep Cover' never happened here - the rest of the gang has never met Jack. On with the chapter!**

* * *

"Kate, where's Alexis?"

"I think she went to see where Jonathan had disappeared to – I'm sure she'll be back in a minute."

"Who's Jonathan?"

Kate sighed and silently prayed for patience. "Jonathan Dutton, her boyfriend – you met him when we got back to the loft this afternoon-"

Rick frowned. "Wait, you're telling me that kid was supposed be Johnny Dutton?"

Kate nodded. "He's a few years older than the last time you saw him, Rick-"

"That wasn't Johnny, Kate."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I haven't seen the kid in years but Johnny has a scar on the left side of his face – right along his chin. He got it from falling against our coffee table when he, Alexis, and Button were playing laser tag as children-"

Kate felt her heart stop. "Oh my God, Castle – are you sure about this?"

"Kate, I may not remember the last six years but I remember Alexis' childhood quite clearly. That young man is NOT Jonathan Dutton."

Kate was already trying to reach Lex on her cell. "She's not picking up. Esposito!"

"Yo, what's up, Beckett?"

"Get ahold of hospital security – we've got to find Lex, now."

"Trouble?"

"I'm not sure – maybe."

* * *

Alexis' eyes scanned the corridors for some way to escape but Jonathan was holding tightly to her hand, the capped syringe hidden between their fingers. _Do I dare make a run for it? Would I be able to escape before he plunged the needle into me? I don't want to die but if he gets me out of this hospital, away from witnesses, who knows what he'll do to me. I have to do something._

They turned the last corner and the sliding doors of the exit were less than fifty feet in front of them. _It's now or never._

Before she could jerk her hand free, the outside doors slid open and Martha stepped inside. "Alexis!"

"Grams!"

Jonathan reacted instantly, pulling Alexis in front of him, wrapping his free arm around her neck in a choke hold. "Don't come any closer, Mrs. Rodgers – not unless you want your granddaughter to be the next victim of N745."

Martha paled but stopped in the hallway as the doors slid shut behind her. "What's going on here? How on earth did you get mixed up in all of this?"

Jonathan sneered. "I'm not going to stand here and play twenty questions. Now, your granddaughter and I are going to walk out that door and you can deliver my message for me."

"What message?"

"That if we don't get the antidote for N745 in twenty-four hours, your precious Alexis will be injected with the drug."

Martha licked her lips. "How do I know you haven't injected her already?"

"Because we're not fools – we'd have nothing to bargain with. Now, step aside and let us pass."

Martha squared her shoulders. "And you're a fool if you think I came here without back up. Let my granddaughter go and he might let you live."

Jonathan laughed. "And who might that be?"

There was the sound of a gun cocking as it pressed into the side of Jonathan's neck. "Me. Now drop that syringe before I shoot you here and now in this hallway," Jackson ordered.

"NYPD! Drop your weapons!"

"I've got him, Katherine," Jackson gritted his teeth. "But if I drop my weapon, he may inject Alexis with N745."

Kate swung her gun on Jonathan, trying to come to grips with the fact that the youth was involved in this mess. "Drop it, now."

For several heartbeats, no one moved and then finally, the syringe fell to the floor. Alexis ripped her hand from Jonathan's and kneed him in the groin. He fell to the floor, writhing in pain as she fled to Martha, the only one in the hallway who wasn't armed.

"Grams!"

"Oh sweetheart! Are you all right?"

Alexis just sobbed into her shoulder. "Where's JJ?"

"Safe, I promise. Did he hurt you?" She lifted her face and Martha gasped. "What happened to your face?"

"Coffee – is it bad?"

"It's really red – but I don't see any blisters. Does it hurt?"

"It feels like a sunburn. Oh Grams, I was so scared and I just don't understand why Jonathan would do something like that."

Kate was approaching them slowly. "That isn't Jonathan Dutton."

"What?" Alexis gasped.

"Then who is he?"

Kate shrugged. "Maybe Jack knows, but he's not telling."

Alexis threw her arms around Kate. "How did you know something was wrong?"

"You have your dad to thank. When he heard your boyfriend's last name, he told me that couldn't be Johnny Dutton because he didn't have a scar along his chin-"

Martha gasped. "I'd forgotten all about that! I guess having my son living in the past paid off, huh?"

Kate nodded as she ran her hands up and down Lex's back soothingly.

"Alexis!" Rick called as he wheeled into the hallway.

The young woman released her hold on Kate. "Daddy!" she ran into his outstretched arms, falling into his lap.

"Pumpkin, are you OK?"

She shook her head, the sobs breaking afresh.

Rick's jaw clenched and his eyes met Kate's. "He didn't -?" he couldn't finish the sentence, the emotions clogging his throat.

Kate shook her head. "No, he didn't – thanks to your dad."

"My father's here? Where?"

"I'm right here, Richard. How are you?"

The rage boiled over. "How am I? Let's see – I've been kidnapped, tortured, injected with a mind altering drug, forgotten the best years of my life, and now my daughter's been traumatized by someone she genuinely cared about – how do you think I'm doing, Dad?"

Jackson Hunt sighed. "Now you know why I've stayed away all these years – to protect all of you."

"You've done a lousy job the past few months."

"Rick," Kate admonished softly.

"No, it's all right, Katherine. I deserve his censor. That package should never have been sent to you, Rick – that was a major security breach. It won't happen again."

"How can you be so sure? How can I know that my children won't be caught up in your web of espionage?" He held Alexis tighter as her sobs began to subside. "How can I know that they'll be safe?"

"Life doesn't come with guarantees, my boy; you should know that by now. Enjoy every day you have with your children – it's one more day than I got to have with you." Jackson turned and walked to where a handcuffed, sneering Jonathan was leaning against the wall.

"Rick, don't leave it like that with him. He's your father," Kate pleaded.

He blinked at her in surprise. "I can't believe you're saying this – he's the one directly responsible for this mess!"

She crouched by his wheelchair. "And he's also the one that told me where to find you and kept Mom and JJ safe – have you forgotten that?"

Rick sighed. "No – but that was just him cleaning up afterwards." He looked down to see that Alexis had fallen asleep against his shoulder. "Kate, let it be, all right? Let's just focus on us and our kids right now. Speaking of kids, where's JJ?"

Kate smiled. "Mom dropped him off at the precinct – Gates is watching him."

"Well, what do you say we check on Ryan, and then go get our son and go home? I don't know about you, but I'm beat."

Her breath caught at the idea of Castle falling asleep and waking up somewhere else in the past, but she smiled anyway. "That sounds like a plan."

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Detective, but I've got it from here."

Espo looked at Castle's father for a long moment before nodding. "I guess you do. It was nice to finally meet you."

Jack nodded. "Sorry about the knock out drops."

Espo grinned. "Hey, at least you didn't shoot me."

"I didn't shoot your partner either – that was their work." He shoved Jonathan in the shoulder and the kid grunted. "All I did was knock him out with a tranquilizer dart – I would never shoot one of NYPD's finest."

Espo held out his hand. "I hope we meet again someday."

They shook hands. "I doubt it – keep an eye on my stubborn son for me?"

"Count on it."

Jack waited and watched until the detective was back inside before turning to Jonathan. The kid smirked at him. "How touching."

"Shut up." Jack pulled the key from his pocket and undid the handcuffs. "Get out of here."

"You're letting me go?"

"You're surprised?"

Jonathan shrugged. "Not really."

Jack's gun was back under the kid's chin before he had time to blink. "Don't think for one second I don't know who you are or who you work for, Jackal. You're just a messenger boy – and that's what I intend for you to do – deliver a message. Tell your bosses that we have the antidote now and it's over. They lost and we won."

Jackal grinned. "Anything else?"

Jack nodded. "Stay the hell away from my family."

"Or what?"

"Or I will personally come after each and everyone in your organization. And I won't use N745 – I'll use good, old fashioned bullets, understand?"

Jackal stared into the old man's eyes for a long minute before nodding. "I'll make sure your message gets delivered to the appropriate parties."

Jack watched as Jackal melted into the darkness, and tried to get himself under control. The wind carried perfume on the breeze and he sighed, knowing he was no longer alone. The only question was how long she'd been there.

"I know you're there, Mattie, so you may as well come out."

Martha emerged from the shadows of the hospital building, her step unsure in the darkness. Jack reached out a hand and she took it as she came close to his side.

"You let him go."

He nodded.

"Was that a wise decision?"

He shrugged. "He wouldn't have told us anything – he doesn't know anything. He's just a messenger."

Martha nodded. "So you decided to use him to deliver a message instead."

Jack looked down at her in surprise. "Yes."

"Do you think they'll kill him?"

"Probably."

She shuddered and Jack slipped off his khaki jacket, slipping it around her shoulders. She looked up, reading the distance in his eyes. "You have to go."

"Yes."

"When?"

He took a slow, deep breath. "Now."

She bit her lip. "I wish you'd stay and talk to Richard one more time-"

He shook his head. "No. Our son needs time – and after the drug wears off, he won't remember I was here at all."

Martha shivered again, harder. Jack rubbed his hands up and down her arms, offering her comfort and strength.

"Can I tell him that you were here?"

He smiled. "It's not a secret, Mattie."

She rolled her eyes. "Your whole life is a secret. So, I can tell him you were here, but not why?"

He laughed. "All of it – you can tell him everything. Our son knows how to keep a secret, just like his mother," he lifted a hand to caress her cheek. The moment was broken as Jack's watch beeped. He sighed and dropped his hand. "I have to go. Now, you memorized that number I gave you?"

She nodded.

"Good – now remember, only use it if your lives are in danger. It's not a number to call just to see if I'm alive or-"

She rolled her eyes. "I know, Jack. I get it – I'll only use it if one of us is in mortal peril."

He smiled at her dramatic flair. "Now, what do you say when someone answers?"

"I say, 'Jackson Hunt, code yellow, kismet."

He lifted one of her hands and kissed the back. "That's my girl."

Martha cupped his face in her hands. "Jack, I lo-"

He pressed his index finger to her lips. "Don't, Mattie, please?"

She frowned. "But why?"

"Because hearing those words will make it that much harder to leave you again."

Smiling in understanding, she pressed her lips to his and for one moment in time, the years fell away and they were Mattie and Jack, dressed in matching yellow, kissing under a moonlit sky.

"But I do," she whispered.

"I know," he breathed as he captured her lips again. "Me too."

When Martha opened her eyes, Jackson Hunt was gone.

* * *

Kate watched Rick sleep and tried not to panic. She had no idea what to expect when he awakened. He could still be back in 2010 – or perhaps he would jump some more years ahead. There was also the outside chance that the drug would have worked itself out of his system since there really was no way to tell when his captors had given him the injection.

Alexis had gone to bed as soon as they had gotten back to the loft but her screams had sent Kate flying upstairs soon after. Once she had woken the young woman, Lex was incredibly embarrassed.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about – you've just been through a harrowing experience."

"Kate, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be a cop – face life and death situations every day?"

"Well, it's not every day-" Alexis stared at her and Kate sighed, giving up on levity. "We're trained for it at the academy but all the training in the world can't prepare you for the first time you're faced with death. Do you remember after I got shot, how I didn't call your father for three months?"

Alexis nodded. "He was so despondent and I was furious with you-"

"I was healing – not just physically, but emotionally. There was so much that I had to deal with and instead of letting your father in, I shut him out. That was a big mistake – one I hope you don't repeat. Don't shut out the people who love you, Lex."

Alexis talked for a bit and then said she was going to try and read for a bit, see if she could fall back asleep. JJ's crying interrupted them and Kate left to tend to her son.

Now, she was staring at her husband and wondering who he was going to be when he woke up.

Rick stirred in his sleep, drawing Kate's attention back to the bed. Moving quickly, she set her now sleeping son in his play pen and sat on the edge of the bed. Rick lifted a hand to scrub across his face.

"Kate?"

Her heart lifted. "Rick?" She moved into his line of eyesight, her hair framing her face. "How do you feel?"

His eyes blinked open and met hers, smiling warmly. "Hey, gorgeous. Why do I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck?"

She sighed and slowly let one hand rest over his heart. "What do you remember?"

He frowned as he reached up and linked their hands together. "I was at my book launch for 'Hamptons Heat' and then –" his voice trailed off as his eyes widened. "I can't remember – why can't I remember, Kate?"

"Hush, love, it's all right," She soothed him like she did JJ, running her hand through his hair, peppering his face with kisses. She knew he was on the verge of panic, while she was trying to hide her elation that he was back.

Rick's hand landed on her flat stomach and he shot up in bed, the movement causing him to cry out in pain. "Kate, did you lose our baby?"

"No, no, Julian's fine – he's sleeping. Rick, you need to calm down. Your leg's broken and-"

He captured her face in his hands and she could feel him trembling beneath her. "Kate, I feel like I've woken up in some parallel universe here. Am I awake? What the hell's going on?"

She leaned forward and captured his lips with hers. For a moment she felt him fight her, as he wanted answers and not the distraction, but he had no idea how much both of them needed this connection first. But the moment passed and Rick moaned low in his throat and wound his fingers through his wife's hair, pulling her against him. Tears sprang to her eyes as she felt their connection flare to life and her hold on him tightened. He pulled away when he felt her begin to shake in his arms.

"Kate, what's wrong – you're scaring me."

"Rick, please. I promise I'll tell you everything – but for now, can you just hold me?"

He smiled softly, capturing her lips one more time before pulling her back into his arms. "Always."

* * *

**A/N: Yay, Rick's back! I could end it here - but I think we need another chapter, don't you? Reviews are LOVE.**


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